You traced your name upon my face
faded skin
redden eye
carrying the cavern’s stamp
mimicking the colliery’s faithful
the cairn
citadel of separation
light plays upon each stone
chasing dew
ignorant
as the sombre requiem
rents space between the robins call
envied soil
dark and sweet
now our tangled sheets
time
the once wondrous gift
now a cloistered cell
I trace your name upon my face
Comments
delve
depths....the plains of intellilect
and impact
of a touch
a word
a want
reading your works
and rolling through my madness
sortting what must be and what has
occured
the surreal moments
removed
mimicking the colliery’s
mimicking the colliery’s faithful -this line is a tongue twister
chasing dew-chasing is a bit cute,
ignorant-doesn't tell us anything..ignorant light? means what?
rents space between the robins call-like this line
time
the once wondrous gift-bit cliched
I trace your name upon my face-good ending, I would make this the beginning as well simply for the sonics.
as usual a poem worth reading,
I agree Ross
bit lazy with some words
chasing wonderous gift
need to get the ratchet out!