jewelled studs
stretched to forever
in an endlessly encompassing
quiescent deep
a panorama
aglow
an intangible taste
of a vast breadth
with future in potential
that shimmers just out of reach
.
jewelled studs
stretched to forever
in an endlessly encompassing
quiescent deep
a panorama
aglow
an intangible taste
of a vast breadth
with future in potential
that shimmers just out of reach
.
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Judy
As the stars we stretch to eternity, only man want's to limit things purely by his own limitations of physical Life.
As you are aware there is more than a physical being that only lasts a few years.
Lovely write, Yours, Ian.T
thanks ian
i just did an edit - hope you still relate to it
love judy
xxx
Hi Judy
You know me and the KISS principle lol. I think a simpler word than quiescent would fit better. Something like still or calm. And last line....maybe beyond rather than out of. Just a few ideas from a rank beginner........stan
thank scribbles
for the suggestions - i will consider them
love judy
xxx
you've
done life it's justice dear Judy
I especially loved
a panorama
aglow
and that last line,,so true!
thanks so much rula
for the very supportive comment
love judy
xxx
Love it,
intelligent and eloquent.
I've complained of lack of passion and verve in your work but these deep, spiritual, mindful works are, i my opinion, your best.
thank you jess
i guess that shows where my heart is then...
love judy
xxx
To read your poetry
is in itself an intelligence gaining treat
hope some day to composing poetry
you shall me treat
of my version about life
some other day!
.
.
Gorgeous imagery!
I can see this so clearly, though in mine, it is taking place at a crimson red sunset. Somehow I feel I know you more now.
Great Job Judy!
Ron