Carnal Haven
(Adult)
the climax of my youth
was spent in his arms
where he stirred my inner muse
with slow hands and hungry thigh
he conquered my inhibitions
transforming me into
the keeper of my own soul
together we pushed the boundaries
of the erotic envelope
while prodding fingers of velvet softness
pressed against darkened star strewn skies
the voyeur in me came alive
sprouting wings of passion
from the sating juices of honeyed release
while the late evening breeze
whispered sweetly of night blooming jasmine
in a forbidden lover's garden.
Feb 19, 2012
Carnal Haven (adult content)
About This Poem
Last Few Words: A poem for my book Mirror/rorriM
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Dear Lonnie,
Thank you, dear gentleman, you are always so kind to my writings, and it is appreciated greatly.
always, Cat
Dear Mark,
Thank you so much for reading and critiquing. You have told me all I need to know to proceed with entering this in my manuscript. You are a gentleman and a fine poet.
always, Cat
Mrs Cat
another person who needs a cold shower LOL!!
Good stuff
Lou
(((Lou)))
Thanks! I have received the desired effect, LOL!
always, Cat
Beautifully written
but you know what I don't like about erotic poetry?
I'm not involved.
I don't like pornography either.
Thanks Jess,
It was good of you to read and comment on. I know this is not your cup of tea, lol.
always, Cat
Thanfully I Love women and passion..Eroticism
In my time and travels there have been
lovers gardens and winter beds
while snowflakes fell
like whispers
and A man can admit defeat when
a womens spirit and drive is
seducted away by a master
there will always be women
interesting
women
beautiful articulated souls
falling into passion with this poet
I love erotic works
and muse poems like this
Love the detailing
and the words fitting
"jasmine"
terrific poem Cat
Dear Esker,
Is it Stephen with a ph not a v? I wish for you a lifetime filled with lovers gardens and winter beds with the snow fallin gently outside your windows. Thank you for reading and commenting. It is always a pleasure to be in reception of one of your visits! Yours is a lovely soul.
always, Cat
Hello
Well done erotica without being pornographic..............stan
Thank you Stan,
I'm glad you found it within your comfort zone :)
always, Cat
Poetically erotic
Calm, quiet and serene,
by our age all have been
through the ravages
pages
delightfully of life .
Your ecstasy supreme
in a version of erotica
non porno-screen
sends signals of youth
in between,
the teen
and
those who have been.
Thank You Loved,
For your gentle reading and response. You are very perceptive of the inner workings of this piece.
always, Cat
Gentleocity is my cup of tea
of ecstasy
I feel human souls ought to be free
a self sexy selection
trashed by some
:)
Thank you, Loved!
always, Cat
Looking for Jack
and found this. I'm a shy old prude, so I can't talk about content here. But the poem is sharp. Of course, I get lonely for even rhythms and a rhyme scheme, but I'm growing. wesley
Thank you Wesley,
For not shying away from this poem. I'm glad I did not offend your delicate sensibilities and you read on. Growing is good...I hope to continue folowing your example for the rest of my life.
:) Cat
Borrowed Title..hence your appproval is needed Cat...
Carnally Evil (only for adult minded)
The life within my arms
spent was spent
from day one to the end
and I had no need to say
Amen,
Till today I have
yet not been totally spent…
The souls belonging to a species of a kind
leave indelible memories far behind,
betwixt arms and limbs
we slaughtered day without and day within
yet not satiated to the fullest extent,
we have many more years to spend,
ere we are finally done and spent …
The life of exoticity well spent
in the arms we love to remain
ever entwined and don’t say friends,
no it’s not yet time
the passion has yet to peek
still in each other’s arms
we still orgasm seek
and perish as the night slowly passes by
and another day comes to stand by.
such ecstasy of forbidden love,
who damned said twas forbidden?
no life would seed for a moment,
if twas not spent
well spent each moment
life continues still
till in the tunnels
it continues to spill…
Dear Loved,
Beautifully penned. But try a few other adjectives in place of "spent" such as ( tried, used, paid, exhausted, disbursed, etc.)
Thank you for sharing with me.
always, Cat
Thanks shall apply my mind
thanks will do
and thank you
Cat you are wonderful