At night
it's hard to tell
what goes on there
or behind
It's dark and
so quiet that
only silence would bark.
So let's wait till morning's eye
Is kind enough to serve
a clearer sight
Only then we can both
find a way
Out
At night
it's hard to tell
what goes on there
or behind
It's dark and
so quiet that
only silence would bark.
So let's wait till morning's eye
Is kind enough to serve
a clearer sight
Only then we can both
find a way
Out
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem, "A Way Out!" presents a vivid picture of a night scene, with the use of metaphors and personifications to convey a sense of mystery and anticipation. The structure of the poem is simple and straightforward, which contributes to its overall clarity.
However, there are a few areas that could be improved. The phrase "only silence would bark" is a bit confusing. While it's clear that this is meant to be a metaphor, it's not immediately apparent what it's supposed to represent. Is it the overwhelming quiet of the night, or is it a metaphor for something else? Clarifying this could help to strengthen the overall message of the poem.
The line "Is kind enough to serve a clearer sight" could also be more effectively phrased. The use of the word "serve" here is a bit awkward. Perhaps a different verb could be used to convey the idea of the morning providing a clearer view.
Lastly, the poem could benefit from a more definitive conclusion. The line "Only then we can both find a way Out" leaves the reader with a sense of uncertainty. While this may be intentional, providing a more concrete ending could give the poem a stronger sense of closure.
Overall, the poem has a strong foundation, but could benefit from some revisions to clarify its metaphors and strengthen its conclusion.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Hi Rula
I enjoyed this minimum
imagery poem
Me too
I want to see the new version :)
Really,