Happiness we seek
Making life’s trials recede
In our thoughts each day
Apr 03, 2023
Happiness
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Happiness we seek
Making life’s trials recede
In our thoughts each day
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
If you are...
going for a Haiku, you need, [well, should have], another syllable in that second line. I would suggest:
Making [our] life trials recede.
Just saying. Happy thought for the day! ~ Geezer.
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Thank you for reading and
Thank you for reading and comments
I double checked the syllable count
It was 5,7,5
Sorry...
My American accent is showing! LoL
I counted [trials] as one. Ooops! ~ Geezer.
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Kudos
Good write!
Happiness is the priority of every necessity
Thank you for reading my
Thank you for reading my poems and your generous comments
Thanks, it made me re check
Thanks, it made me re check things
Thanks
Thank you. Experimenting with
Thank you. Experimenting with Haiku