Sanguine dreams
Unsuspecting flesh
Crimson nightmares
Rage's steaming flash
Stainless steel
Cold to touch
Vermillion streaks
No life to clutch
Scarlet embers
Blow like fallen ash
Over and over
Until his last breath
Sanguine dreams
Unsuspecting flesh
Crimson nightmares
Rage's steaming flash
Stainless steel
Cold to touch
Vermillion streaks
No life to clutch
Scarlet embers
Blow like fallen ash
Over and over
Until his last breath
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
If I were...
the "unsuspecting flesh", I would be very afraid to fall asleep in your presence. Of course, "unsuspecting" is the key word here. I got the message! Brrrrrrr. This is as chilling as any "Killer" story I've ever told! ~ Geez.
.
Thanks Gee!
For the high compliment! It is hard to come even a little close to Killer's cold and calculating expertise. I am glad this one sparked a little chill for you.
REDrum
Are you also taking Cat’s challenge and using colors?
I may do so...
it seems that the things I have been planning haven't yet been worked out in my muse's mind. She is such a fussy thing! LoL~ Geez.
.
Maybe
…
Hi Tim
I did accept Cat's challenge. I decided to step out of my usual reference to black or grey. This seemed to role right off my pen.
dear RB,
the first thing I thought of was the flick "the Shining" and crazy Jack Nicholson (sp?) this poem is an excellent contender for the (Red Contest) my favorite lines are:
Sanguine dreams
Unsuspecting flesh
Crimson nightmares
Rage's steaming flash
and it builds from there!!!
*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy
Rage is a driving force
And the color red is a perfect match for all the feelings that go with it. Thank you for your insight.
Beautiful!
I really liked your premise on which your poem was built. Extraordinary artistic thought !
.
Thank you Jack
For your input. Very much appreciated
Staccato
I like the conciseness of it. It says so much in such a staccato rhythm.
Thank you
Glad you liked it