ANIMAL JOKES

1.
A kitten snuck back in the house
but his momma was on the quick
to lecture him for being late
and how she had been worried sick.

“Okay, mom, so I’m a little late,
but why shouldn’t I be allowed
to live at least one of my lives
the way I please," the brat meowed.

2.
Two herrings met in the Baltic Sea;
one was grouchy, one was chipper.
Chipper: "Hey, pal, where’s your brother?”
Grouchy: 'Am I my brother’s kipper?'

3.
Few turkeys had survived
that Thanksgiving Day slaughter,
among them a widowed mom
with her unruly daughter.

Scolds the momma turkey:
You naughty, naughty baby,
if your father knew how bad you are,
he would turn over in his gravy!

4.
My kitten sharpened her nails on the couch
and quite upset, I had her de-clawed,
but kitten grinned, then gleefully said,
“Just you wait till I see Santa Claws.”
 

5.
A Nanny goat did bolt and jump,
then browsed through the city dump.
She ate a book, began to spit
and bleated “Ma-a-a, I don’t like it!”
(I guess she’d have liked the film much better;
she nearly choked on paper, binding, and each letter.)