1.
A kitten snuck back in the house
but his momma was on the quick
to lecture him for being late
and how she had been worried sick.
“Okay, mom, so I’m a little late,
but why shouldn’t I be allowed
to live at least one of my lives
the way I please," the brat meowed.
2.
Two herrings met in the Baltic Sea;
one was grouchy, one was chipper.
Chipper: "Hey, pal, where’s your brother?”
Grouchy: 'Am I my brother’s kipper?'
3.
Few turkeys had survived
that Thanksgiving Day slaughter,
among them a widowed mom
with her unruly daughter.
Scolds the momma turkey:
You naughty, naughty baby,
if your father knew how bad you are,
he would turn over in his gravy!
4.
My kitten sharpened her nails on the couch
and quite upset, I had her de-clawed,
but kitten grinned, then gleefully said,
“Just you wait till I see Santa Claws.”
5.
A Nanny goat did bolt and jump,
then browsed through the city dump.
She ate a book, began to spit
and bleated “Ma-a-a, I don’t like it!”
(I guess she’d have liked the film much better;
she nearly choked on paper, binding, and each letter.)
Comments
I really liked "Am I my
I really liked "Am I my brother's kipper?" "Turning over in his gravy" isn't too bad either.
Thank you, Dandini;
your comment is much appreciated. Jerry
Animal Jokes
Hi, Jerry!
Methinks you are near genius! Such cleverness doth prevail! You are so talented, even as you step away from your lovely sonnets. I don't know which I think is the best - "kipper" or "gravy." Good one!
Thank you!
L
Dear Lavender;
your sweet words definitely not only stroke my ego, but inspire me to undertake even greater works. Thank you for liking my cornball jokes, dear lady. Jerry
Dear Van,
HA! I was chuckling by the third stanza and downright laughing by the fifth! These are hilarious and wry, and I like them all! XD
DearAsche;
thank you for chuckling and laughing; now you have got me doing the same. Jerry/Van
Yes...
What Asche said! Funny stuff, I was particularly amused by "My brother's Kipper".
~ Geez.
.
Hello Sir Geezer;
thank you for laughing kind sir. And now on to greater and finer things. Jerry
I think is is amazing I love
I think is is amazing I love your play with words
Thanks for the applause, Orili;
amd now I can rest on my laurels. Thank you, mucho! Jerry/ van