Scatterhatter
Feb 27, 2018

Sunku ( The Dance)

tonight we dance
silken touch
eyes lock

tonight we feed
savored taste
bite soft

tonight we sleep
dreamer you
I, too

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Tasmania, Australia

Favorite Poets: Teresa Hooley

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

that you have the form right; except that you have the lines in the wrong order. I really like the hint of vampirism included. A new member of the Darkside?
~ Geezer.
.

R

raj

7 years 1 month ago

Yes...Geezer is right...in the context of Sunku lines of your stanzas are upside down and need to be turned 180 degrees

vandiemenspeak

The mountain upside down! I quite like it in this form, although I know it's not strictly the form, I sense the bite. I'll have a look at this workshop, thank you.

Cheers,

Chris.