Beneath the covering of moss the stone retired.
Jun 25, 2017
A Stone (imagery workshop)
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
eight words
and a detailed picture.
Hi Jane
thank you
Yes
Can't you hear my old grey cells?
Grin.
Jx
Nice one,
if a tad anthropomorphic. It loses something by evoking the idea of the stone actively retiring. Perhaps
Beneath the covering of moss the stone [was or had] retired.
Get my drift?
yes
I get your drift but now I have to decide whether or not changing this will help or not. It's possible for a suggestion to be a good one but not fit in with what a poet is trying to accomplish. Anthropomorphizing might be a good thing in leading a reader to identify with a thing..........stan
agreed
agreed
How does one erect a historical marker here?
You and I actually agreeing lmao
no biggie
I've agreed with Rett and Lonnie too in the past,
It no doubt won't last.
LOL
Would be a bit disappointed if it did
Hi Mark
An ending? Hmmm....I wrote it thinking it might be a good beginning but see how easily it could be either.......stan
And I'm not sure if anyone said it..
A rolling stone, gathers no moss...suggesting this stone is only engaged in an illusory retirement, maybe? I like under the cover of moss. Sense the tone is itching for the stone to be thrown back in the stream!
Nice start..
Cheers,
Chris.
I'm afraid we were all waiting with bated breath
for someone NOT to open the Pandora's box of The Rolling Stones, mate.
Yet it must be acknowledged in context.
I saw them live in Sydney in 1995. Jagger at 52 was superlative.
poor old Mick
I understand he's about to start his "walker" tour lol. I am saying this out of envy that he's getting around better than I lol
Oh no, i've started 'im up, started up..
never stop......er..i won't make a grown man cry :/ - OK I'm signing off now, I've already made one python reference this evening - this imagery workshop is exhausting!
Cheers
Chris.
I had hoped
That the idea of a stone once in motion had been captured and thus retired by the blanket of moss. This shows how even fairly explicit imagery can be interpreted in many ways by many people............stan
And I'm not
even going to mention the sweet little ditty about getting rocks off.
I is a lady after all.
Jx
Getting
rocks off???? whatever do you mean the scribbler asks with innocent eyes