Seren
Seren
Feb 10, 2015

time's solemn truth

We are just ghosts
enslaved by time
slipping through
the portals of seconds
squeezing through cracks,

freedom is the illusion
reality lies in delusions
as the soul is raped
by the mind ...

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Weirs thoughts before bed, maybe it was the chocolate ? Lol

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda

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More from this author

Comments

Rula

Rula

10 years 2 months ago

Always nice to read you dear.
Strangely enough I was about to submit a piece about another illusion when I came to read yours
Well I won't tell you what is mine. No secret, just some suspense!
I totally agree that we are the slaves of time and freedom is only an illusion.Well and beautifully expressed

Seren

Its nice to pop in when I can I miss my friends here at the site but I am Lucky they keep track of how I am going and I am very thankful for their love and friendship that' helped in no small way this last year, I have so many Poems to work on and get ready to post when I am well enough

ao glad you liked this one and I am glad the message came across that's exactly what my message is

thank you foe the read I'm very grateful

love Jayne x

R

raj

10 years 2 months ago

Rula has already commented to something similar I too would have commented...so i just hmmmmmmmm...

Be well,

much love n hugs,

Seren

I will let Judd(Judyanne) know you liked it giggle .. I am very happy you liked it though !!

I'll be round later to see what you've been writing,I look forward to it

much love and hugs Jayne xox

judyanne

but I think I would see rather
'freedom is a delusion / reality lies in illusion'
And powerfully arresting, those last two lines...

Take care girlfriend
Love judd
xxx

Sparrow

A great write I have put most of my comments on PM for this one as it is deep and needs an answer.
Yours as always, Ian xx

Seren

I will check my pms again and make sure I haven't missed one, I am bound to I am in and out of hospital like a bridegroom on his wedding night, haha anyway I am not finished with this one it needs a little more I am working on it and I have a rough draft I do aim to please and I see someone else has said just that below you lol

love you always Jayne x

China Blue

ahhhhhhhch
I was just getting into this poem and poof it was done
lol

Seren

I will be emailing you shortly but wait there is more ! I am working on a type of extension for this one and I hope it pleases you when I do the edit tomorrow night, tonight I am just going to read and comment and find some quality poetry, its when I am in pain I turn to poetry, sad but true, but I al also writing so many other things that I will be posting over the next little while ...

take care sweet lady love Jayne x

mand

mand

10 years 1 month ago

This such a true, honest, powerful poem! You see things in a different dimension - I find myself say Yeah that's soo true. Awesome

Love Mand xxxx :)

Seren

So very good to see you my friend I am just about to have a wander around neo and see what everyone's been writing ... Thanks for the comment and I do see things differently its my little bit of madness my friend lol

biggest hugs and love Jayne x