Foul stench of self importance,
The air so thick , It coats the back of the throat
choking you on the rancid hatred and derision.
Gasping, fighting for breath amongst the putrid smell ,
of ego, ambition,
and dead hope.
Festering skank riding an odorous wave
of arrogant dross,
bilious heap of filth.
Open the sluices and flush
It all out.
Expunge the stain.
Comments
Hi Lou
I probably shouldn't, but I laughed out loud when I read " Festering skank riding an odorous wave of egotistical dross, bilious heap of filth."
There have been times ( in the past ) when I have spewed out words like this.
Great poem
Love Mand xxxxxx
Sorry
I posted it twice somehow!
LOL
Mand did you like it so much you had to repeat yourself lol
love lou
Yeh!
I've just read out to my husband, He liked it to.
He he
Love Mand xxxxx
yay
thanks
love lou
Shirl me girl
thanks
love lou
Lou
Lou,
as you know I was privy to this before posting, but still wanted to drop by and read again.
I know the details behind this one and feel you have captured the moment with some fine descriptions.
I had to look up 'Expunge'...a great word indeed...I must use that sometime.
It reads really well, but I can't recall if i suggested any changes or if i did, if you've used them...but whatever, I do like the feel of this one.
I like the title too and I like the fact you never use the word 'toxic' in the actual poem.
The only thing I would mention is you've used the word 'ego' and 'egotistic'...so I wonder if you should replace one of them with an alternative word to prevent the slight repetition? maybe, 'conceit' in place of ego in this stanza:
Gasping, fighting for breath amongst the putrid smell ,
of ego, ambition,
and dead hope.
kind regards,
HS
Dan
Thanks mate.
Glad you like the word expunge, i love finding expressive words.
ill sort out the reptition.
lou
You'll have to share
You'll have to share (privately)with me your bible of mellifluous words, Lou.
;-)
~A
Anna
Anna,
having looked up 'expunge', I now need to look up 'mellifluous'...I can't keep up with all these words!
LOL!
HS
Anna
Girl Power !!!!!
Men just don't have the vocabulary LOL !!!!
Lou