medes879
medes879
Sep 27, 2019

Another Time Some Other Rhyme

I say drop a mouse into a poem
and watch him probe his way out,

or walk inside the poem's room
and feel the walls for a light switch.

another time some other rhyme
love for seeking of the need

chosen friend in the sleeve

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Wolcott, ct, USA

Favorite Poets: Major Jackson

More from this author

Comments

Eumolpus

I would start with “drop a mouse...” I don’t think you need “I say”
End with a period as the poem is punctuated. Lastly I would say “up a sleeve” as the more commonly understood image rather than in the sleeve
Some suggestions for a well made piece