I say drop a mouse into a poem
and watch him probe his way out,
or walk inside the poem's room
and feel the walls for a light switch.
another time some other rhyme
love for seeking of the need
chosen friend in the sleeve
Sep 27, 2019
Another Time Some Other Rhyme
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
I like your poem about poems
I would start with “drop a mouse...” I don’t think you need “I say”
End with a period as the poem is punctuated. Lastly I would say “up a sleeve” as the more commonly understood image rather than in the sleeve
Some suggestions for a well made piece
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