When queried as to where I live,
I ponder not and always give
an answer I’ve prepared to say ~
that “Heaven’s not so far away.”
May God have mercy on us all,
for we’ve been haunted since The Fall,
but I am grateful every day
our Heaven’s not so far away.
My home, my life is paradise.
I live in grace and pay no price,
for with my wife as we turn grey
my Heaven’s not so far away.
Comments
Hi wes
I like the minor changes in the refrain. I hope such is allowed in this form. But it's good poetry in any case. Best of luck in contest......stan
now I'm confused
as you haven't used the same rhyme scheme for each verse either.....
.... and yes Stan - as far as I understand, the refrain can be altered at each use ... and doesn't even have to be eight syllables....
Love the write Wes
Love judy
xxx
You're right Judyanne.
This is another old write that didn't understand the form. I'm thinkin' this disqualifies me like the last time. A subtle cheat where cheating is not allowed.
As for the refrain... it must resemble itself, but it could be a single syllable.
This form makes me nuts. There's nothing like a machine that must be perfect in one place, but who cares about the rest.
Hi Wes
I absolutely love this poem - everything about it! :) Good luck in the contest!
Love to you
Mand xxxx
Wesley
Good one.
Regards,
Wes
The theme is fine, but as most will say didn't come up to the contest criteria.
I think that young Wesley should have had more thought when selecting this one,
Take care young Horse Whisperer,
Yours Ian..
It is an old poem that I liked
written at a time when I didn't understand clearly.
I can't see
what's wrong with the rhyme scheme. I see it meets the contest's syllabus
aabB, ccbB, ddbB
doesn't it?
It needs to be the same scheme for each quatrain.
I used different schemes. Read it again.
then the syllabus is not that clear
.
whatever the scheme is
I love this. I see it qualifies for April's contest no matter what you say. I really like it sir!
BTW, all the examples I read in the net follow your same rhyme scheme and those I read here under April's contest.
Lovely wes
Sound good to me.
The contest judge
does not have to rely completely on form. Were I to judge I'd only do so if I liked 2 poems equally and only one had perfect form...........thank goodness I'm not this month's judge lol....stan