Sometimes it makes a relationship,
sometimes it breaks a relationship,
sometimes leads to confusion,
sometimes leads to self realization,
acts as answer for few questions,
signifies danger sometimes,
silence the most powerful weapon of all times.
Feb 05, 2014
Silence
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Hi Kavita
Being a rough draft, I am sure you would be looking at options to tweak this up. Try and limit use "sometimes" and I think it will then read better. I will come back and see if I an give some tips on going about it.
Try to build in real time examples into it, e.g. how a spider works silently and something similar to stress the importance of silence,
You have posted this one at a time when I am working on "Open Up" which is quite the opposite ...lol..
Cheers!
I agree with you Raj,
I agree with you Raj,
I'm not sure if the repetition was deliberate, but I feel the poem could do without it.
Also, in some way, I feel the poem states too plainly what it is about. This definitely is not wrong, but I often struggle with how much you should tell plainly, and how much should be said in a more "poetic" voice.
.
Yes, you are right Williams
Yes, you are right Williams about keeping some of it in a poetic voice. I am sure Kavita will attempt to do that and lend it that voice too...
Regards,