raj
Feb 02, 2014

Mind Games

Each night,
I miss your mint,
in mornings, like my coffee,
and in between
we ride on our breaths,
play, wind and unwind.

I wake up
on a crumpled sheet,
caress to find it moist,
pillows strewn hither thither,
as too is the girdle
sprawled upside down.

My eyes veiled in pink,
lips sore,
nails blunt,
hair disheveled,
and my skin
wearing goose bumps.

I miss you again at coffee,
with each hot sip
my lips turn blue,
sipping till the spout
runs out of steam
and the heady brew

My toes wriggle and wiggle,
below the cambric
more in hope they twitch
to tease yours
in playful lust
for respite.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

More from this author

Comments

alidzain

where do you get the ideas for your poems? I like the way you make describe it and make it flow, as always

Alid

R

As Ann of Norway a member here has said in her blog, the ideas are floating around somewhere, may be in the sub conscious or are triggered / induced by some event/s, situation, not necessarily related to your own.

Thanks for the visit and read...it is always appreciated..

regards,

Ian.T

Ian.T

11 years 2 months ago

A good flowing piece with a theme that needs little more.
The whole piece is fine..
(This part just needs a little attention)
my palm girdles (girdles needs another word)
around the steaming spout (The spout needs to be a handle)
pouring the bubbly brew.
The two edits would stop you burning your hands LOL.
Take care Yours Ian.T

R

Thanks for your read and the cheeky yet appropriate comment. I have tweaked up the lines but couldn't let go the spout which stays on merit ..lol...

I always have admired your sense of humor and good intentions.

Regards,