Seren
Seren
Jan 14, 2014

it will always be you

I ache to be held in your arms
and have you nuzzle my hair
I can still smell cool water
on my sheets

your face
has become a mask
where once
I could read you
with a look,
I am now clueless

our house is tumbling down
lumber passes your head
without a single glance

your eyes are veiled
their darkness
impenetrable,
I search for a glimmer
of hope, finding none

the enemy within
love, is devouring me
one tiny piece at a time
it’s stripping my sanity
into mere ribbons of reality

the scent of nights together
haunt my sleep
I reach for your form
to find a vast endless space

I have become a husk
consumed by what
was once a blessing
my complete
utter adoration
of you

and now,
until my heart stops its beating
and my lungs stop breathing
I will forever and always
hold this love for you

About This Poem

Last Few Words: its time to put my emotions aside and get proper feedback for my poems so the raw truth it is, my poetry is very personal at the moment I will endeavor to write other things but at the moment my situation is consuming me

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

Geremia

This made my heart sink, Beautifully written, I feel the loss and loneliness. I know it well. I wish there were an answer,

Love from your Joe

Seren

I feel like my hearts been crushed but a friend keeps saying time will heal but I don't know that I have that much time left in my life, he was (I thought) the great love of my life, and I will always hold this love for him I just need to find a way to get through each day without wanting to not see tomorrow

my children have all left home I'm now alone so I guess my poetry and my music will totally consume me someone said to me my best poetry is still to come I will immerse myself in the words and maybe find a little peace in my writing

I know there is must be more for me but its hard to see the light at the moment

with much love your Jayne xxxx

Seren

I haven't got any anger in me at the moment its just all sadness the longing and loneliness is the hardest thing you are so very right big hugs

love your Jayne xxx

Geremia

HEART TO HEART

Where does a heart
broken and torn
hide
when everything
goes wrong.
What is the magic potion
to heal the pain
stop the longing
and bring us back
from dark places
again,

Seren

How beautifully put it brought a tear thank you so much, we can search out that elusive magic potion together big big hugs xxx

Love always your Jayne xxx

Rula

Rula

11 years 3 months ago

This is sad. I hope it would go for your good instead. I always believe that we never know what's good and what's bad for ourselves. Just wait and I'm sure you'll overcome all this.

Last stanza, L1 "until my heart stops its beating" I thought you don't need the "it's"
Just a tiny thing you might like to consider or forget all about it. It won't make that change.
Take care dear.

Seren

Right now I am taking it one day at a time, thanks for your comment and support its very much appreciated

On the last stanza I deliberately put in the 'its' after I wrote that line giving it a life of its own in my mind

I will give it some thought to removing it this is just a rough draft I haven't the heart to come back to it just yet

thank you again

love JC xxx

Roscoe Lane

Look inside yourself i think there's a wonderful person there, reading this and some of your other poetry tells me this. You will overcome this, and again i say reading your poetry i think he is the one whose losing someone very special. Love Roscoe...

Seren

You guys have been a boon of strength for me when I have needed a lift up I cant thank you enough for your very kind and generous comment, I will get through it I just have to find my way on my own and its something new and terribly frightening at the moment but as with most things I will come back hopefully not too jaded

much love JC xxx

Ian.T

Ian.T

11 years 3 months ago

Roscoe's advice about looking inside is great, just do it ASAP, then you will see all the things that you are not what or how others perceive you.
You are not being fair to yourself, But I think logic will prevail and that loving lovely lady will emerge once again to do battle with life, have you forgotten that Aussie Boadicea I wrote about?? This poem needs attention then stored in a box for always, Yours as always, Ian.T xx

Seren

I did new things today things I haven't done in an age, it got me out of my mindset for a couple of hours and I am doing a little better I wont say for quite some time that I am over it but the support of family and friends at this very difficult time has helped me more than you could all know, I am quietly trying to find myself again and hopefully be back to something of myself real soon

my love always JC xxx

Ian.T

The now is all I can give where before is past and next is the future, we can change the future in our now, just have to give out love to all we know You will become whole again and stand there as your party pic showed lol.
I will talk later as tomorrow arrives, which is your today.
Yours as always Ian.T

Seren

Tomorrow was a few days away now, I have been busy this week didn't have time to scratch myself then I was having some severe internet issues but they are all sorted now :)

talk to you in the next couple of days

love always JC xxx

loved

loved

11 years 3 months ago

the foundation stone of creativity,
just ask any successful one
many like me alone,
amidst many a dark situation
lurk about
but inclinations
I haven't given to any

the limits of my yields
have yet to sprout,
of that I have no doubt
but to be lonely
just to brood isn't the purpose of life,

we left our parents in the far oceans of life
and stayed on to surf all alone
haven't we

So take not to heart
there is so much still,
time is a blessing

your heart do search
and move on with the sojourn
the destination is yet not in sight,
take a night flight to see paradise

Ian.T

As a comment this is wise and well written as a poem for future use it could be better than good.
Lovely advice to Jayne I think now that the message is loud and clear, that we as a group will always be there.
Thank you Loved for your write, as I read nearly all the comments this is up there with the best, Yours Ian.T

Seren

Loved hit a chord and for a small time I let the pain recede somewhat

I am a very lucky woman to have such special people in my life its times like these you can really appreciate the most excellently good people who hold us up when our legs wont or cant.

thank you for being here

love always JC xxx

Seren

I read your comment earlier today it got me out of my doom and gloom for a few hours and I looked into the night paradise and let my mind go into other things for a while

So thank you for your very kind words they were just what I needed to hear big big big hugs

love JC xxxx

R

raj

11 years 3 months ago

What can I say? I am at a loss of words truly, except that this write has opened up your heart & soul and one can sense your unconditional love pouring out like crystal clear water in rapids...

hugz..

Seren

I am so sorry I don't know why but I missed answering your comment when you posted it please accept apologies for my lateness, You have read me well yet again my friend

I am very happy you liked it, thanks for the comment and your thoughts they are appreciated

much love and hugs JC xxx

alidzain

oh dear , it always ache when its over. I really feel for you. I wish I could say that at least you have felt love while there are others who are still searching for love, clueless to its trial but I know those words won't make facing the pain any easier.
This piece brings back my own memories of heartaches., that's how good it is. I have a suggestion. let your poetry be a form of theraphy.Its what I have done when I was betrayed by a friend and my ex. Writing and prayers become my salvation.They help me get back on track .Let it all out. All I can do for you here is to pray for you and continue to support you.

Love and hugz
Alid

you'll always have a friend in me..

Seren

What can I say my break up is recent and its still painful but with each day it gets a little easier to open my eyes it gets easier to go through the motions of living, I have always used my writing as a form of therapy its only been in the last five or six years that I have become more serious with it, Thank you for your prayers and kind wishes they are always appreciated

I am glad my poem touched that place for you, it means I am conveying my emotions across the page

many thanks love and hugs JC x

alidzain

you know what you are good at, girl. keep doing it.keep on rolling.

love and hugs
Alid

Seren

I teach singing and have sung for nearly 33 years, but writing poetry and lyrics for songs are my passion I still love to sing but writing seems to give me what I need at the moment, I will write as long as my hands move and my mind works and I can see lol

love and hugs JC x

R

Oh! I didn't know you teach singing and write lyrics besides fine poetry., though I knew you are a teacher in arts. In fact, I have also indulged in writing lyrics, will PM you some.

Keep singing to blot out all negative sounds and murmurs.

Much love..

Seren

One day I expect I will go deaf, when I write I listen to music when I am doing things around the house, I listen to music etc. I think you get the picture

I truly believe that music does soothe the soul, I love instrumental music but I also love opera, my taste's are very eclectic I love country Jazz I love big band music, god I could go on all night but I wont

I appreciate the beauty of art I have always wished I could draw I dabble a little with paint every now and them but I am really really bad at it...

I just don't want to lose my sight I think of all my senses its the one I would miss the most, its my one great fear

Thanks Raj

love and hugs JC xxx

R

May music keep resonating in your heart beats always and I pray for all your senses to remain intact because you do justice to all these gifts we humans are blessed with

much love...

alidzain

i wish i could sing
but the frogs will laugh at me
i draw manga, hooked on anime
other than indulge myself in poetry

love and hugs
Alid

Seren

Smile I heard a man say that he couldn't sing once, and one night he was a little on the drunk side and out came the most beautiful baritone you have ever heard, big smile.

love and hugs JC