raj
Jan 25, 2014

Orgy au naturel

Let me be, be me
not like an icing on a cake
to entice then be devoured
like a whore

Let me be, be me
to dance and be penetrated
by a thousand pin pricks
making me moan like thunder
in an orgasmic surrender

Let me be, be me
and get drenched to my soul
in the delightful outpouring
when rivulets rush down my thighs
awakening my nerve buds
with goose bumps
and in this orgy
I dance to the calypso
of rain drops

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

More from this author

Comments

Seren

Seren

11 years 3 months ago

There is a sensuousness about this write you have given the rain sex appeal OooOOoOooo very well done you had me going right up until the end, maybe I should shower later, whew. ;)

brilliantly performed my friend and executed with finesse

nothing to crit at this stage I will return with a clearer ummm mind haha

much love JC xxx

R

Thank you for the read and to know that this worked for you including the build up to the climax . It was a conscious attempt to keep an element of mystery till the concluding line..good to know it worked...thank you for your appreciative comments...much love n hugz...

Lamar Ingraham

Wow... This was very provocative. The rhythm is amazing with the theme, leaving me stupefied beyond speech. Thank you for posting such a quite bawdy piece of work here.

R

Bawdy? haha!. I appreciate your response Lamar, after all it interests me how different people perceive the same thing. I am happy though that the anti climax which I tried to bring in has worked based on some of the comments above. The fact that few have left a comment could mean that they did not find in this what they were looking for. either way it is a learning experience for me.

thanks for passing by and for your read and comments,

regards,

loved

loved

11 years 3 months ago

an encouragement
so that u all write more
and those who comment
ought to have the nerve.....

Lamar Ingraham

You are correct, "Loved" again. Quite the commentator, are you not? It is my belief that you have smile every time you comment, because you do these things so well.