loved
loved
Jan 12, 2014

Inspiration.......(edit ....thanks all)

Inspiration,
is the spring board of poetry
I learned it
after decades of digging
in the temples
where poetic Lords reside
the ones like you
happy for you
and
of course
my dear
I thank you

Stan and I once wrote
about our many dawns
we passed together
in the age -less -ness of time,
eternity and poetry

My mind now saturates*
poetically
it's been eons since

*replace saturates
as you will
into it's implications
as still
as Zeroness
will fulfill

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: ROU

More from this author

Comments

S

I expect raj will be pleased with this. Hmmm.....I think saturates isn't exactly what you mean though.......stan

loved

i knew saturate may not be acceptable hence help me chose one please u or raj any

I now realize how difficult it is to change a simple word I

destroy (dɪˈstrɔɪ)
vb (mainly tr)
1. to ruin; spoil; render useless
2. to tear down or demolish; break up; raze
3. to put an end to; do away with; extinguish
4. to kill or annihilate
5. to crush, subdue, or defeat
6. (intr) to be destructive or cause destruction

eterminate... brain dead destroyed ... rendered useless etc etc etc

SOS ......ANYONE OUT THERE R U LISTENING ??????

S

are alternatives you can smoke over : dissapates , evaporates , erodes, degrades, detonates, terminates....I expect there are many others. You might try checking your thesaurus for others I've not thought of........stan

Ian.T

Ian.T

11 years 3 months ago

saturate is quite a good word to indicate that a thing is full usually for someone that has been very wet or saturated by rain a wet thing lol

My mind now brimming
poetically
it's been ages
Not sure what else to put there are several words like full, topped up,
as we deal with many words I will leave it up to you, good write though when you bring in a persons name it makes it personal therefore restricting the pieces use.
Take care young Bard, Yours Ian.T

Seren

Seren

11 years 3 months ago

I went through this one and made some suggested changes you don't have to use them

they are as always just suggestions

Inspiration is the spring board of poetry --- I would remove "any"
I learned it after decades of digging
in the temples
where poetic gods reside
like the ones like you --- "the ones like you" I would remove the first like
happy for you
and
of course
my dear
I thank you

Stan and I once wrote
about our many dawns
we passed together
in the age -less -ness of time,
eternity and poetry

My mind now saturates --- " my mind is now saturated" just how I would say that line
poetically
it's been ages --- " its been an age" just another thought

I think this is a lovely tribute to Raj

love JC xxx

mand

mand

11 years 3 months ago

This is a lovely poem and a great tribute to Raj. I think Jayne's suggested edit's would be the icing on the cake!

This one is one of your best!

Love Mand xxxxxxx

R

raj

11 years 3 months ago

Hi Loved

how about this?

My mind now spins
in a void of
esoteric allusions

Not sure if it works well with what you have in mind...

cheers!

loved

I want to say
that my mind does have no more capacity
to compose any more originals
finish kind

r u sublime
in the Indian ocean?
Bombay or where

loved

I want to say
that my mind does have no more capacity
to compose any more originals
finish kind

r u sublime
in the Indian ocean?
Bombay or where