The river runs free
between sunrise and sunset
into waterfalls
Dec 31, 2010
Haiku:(5-7-5) The River
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
The word counts are correct,
The word counts are correct, allow me please to rearrange them for the *effect* of Haiku.
where the river runs
sunrise and sunset flowing
waterfalls of light
~Anna
Well done Barbara a lovely New Year's poem,
I think this beautiful Barbara, the idea is perfectly lovely,
and worthy of a haiku in the traditional style of such.
I like yours and I like Anna's version, the exclusion of
the word free would change a tiny aspect of this poem
that I like I think! I am not sure.
Well done Barbara a lovely New Year's poem,
with water that runs through all the years weathers.
Love from Ann.
Just had fun with it, probably not the right count though:-
The river runs free
between sunrise and sunset
the bright waterfalls
Free flowing in the river
sunrise and sunset bright
waterfalls of light
No don't bother with them!!!