loved
loved
Dec 29, 2013

Deeds indeed

Do well
be good
good deeds are rarely forgotten

though many do
but
postmortem speaks of the whole truth
good as well as bad,

If one had AIDS
tis sad
and
if someone did pierce
tis worse.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: ROU

More from this author

Comments

billypringle

billypringle

11 years 3 months ago

Tis nice to wake
to laughter, jolly
hard, belly roll
laughter, to hear
the lungs bellow
feel eye's burn
with tears. Tis
good to laugh.

jimm

mand

mand

11 years 3 months ago

I see the Troll is at it again! Lol

Inspired by Raj's senryu me thinks! I like the encouragement of the first stanza! I hope you don't mind but I did a little tweaking - ( ignore if you don't like it ). I love that you answered Raj's senryu with a poem - you have a heart of gold!!

Do well, be good
good deeds are rarely forgotten.

A heart will be made known.
“good as well as bad”
in the post-mortem of the whole truth.

Keep safe my friend!! Ignore the Troll!! Lol

Style / type:

Free verse

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

billypringle

billypringle

11 years 3 months ago

You've only just arrived here and your making friends already. have you even bothered to feel this poem? its utterly ridiculous.
Jimm

William Saint George

except the last stanza. I don't really get it. It doesn't seem to me to fit the message of the previous two.
Not saying you should remove it, I just want to know why it's there.

But the second stanza made me smile. :)