loved
loved
Nov 08, 2013

poor those sullen minds

I thought poor … like pee
of those sullen minds

till I met and read ye
you held my hand….
many try to kill…
and upon others soil till …

that is the way with this wicked world…
we all know…
how the real ones perish…
whilst others glow…
and so it's time to surface here ..
and form a tracer… like a bullet...
and so may it be the violet...

I held to my feet
dug deep ...
as I learnt then
when we did meet

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: ROU

More from this author

Comments

Barbara Writes

Sullen mind, wicked ones is causing much sorrows in the earth.
Deep and heartfelt. With all this never ending trail upon people sullen anyone's thinking.
I'm tired so I hope I get it.

Seren

Seren

11 years 5 months ago

There are some really good lines in this one I would love to see it tightened up with an edit. By the way I noticed in one of your comments to me you asked about an edit, was that recent or from some time ago? you will have to remind me.

I liked the content of this one you can really turn out some surprising writes sometimes :)

love JC xxx

p.s. I think this one could do with a better title that one just doesn't do it for me

loved

in the meantime
please edit this
as I locate the recent comment of yours
on the other one..
which I will have to revisit