silken threads bind
the tree of life,
skeins of hope
tying all
deep into the soul
of the earth
but,
the dirt trembles and shakes
big minds wander
the lost halls of learning
they go where others
dare not tread,
risking all
with each step
tremendous machines
chew through the skin
of the planet
ripping and shredding
the life out of Gaia,
she is dying
a day at a time
Great leaders in denial
lead their people
towards a precipice,
all the time
their eyes are closed
hoping like fools
their delusions
aren't their downfall
like lemmings
a blinded society
technologically
numbed
are blinkered,
the mountains
begin to tumble
as the rivers
ease their flow
the grass browns
as the days burn hot
killing the elderly
sickening the child,
the air burns throats
and lungs
as industry
churns out poison
waters run with blood
buildings fall
into the chasm
all the while the answer
lies within
a seed of hope
is carried in the atoms
that hold us all together,
wind the silken thread
around this pearl
saving all that ever was
Comments
how beautiful!
Is this writing dear Jayne. Many many good stanzas and favorite lines and images and with that hopeful seed that you've closed with you make it almost perfect.
Nothing I see that might improve.Well done!
Dear Rula
Thank you so much for the read and the comment I am not sure where my writing is going at the moment its all over the place but I am very pleased you liked it, this is still a little rough at the moment I need to do more work on it but its getting to a place where I am happy with it
thank you again
love JC xxx
This is excellent Jayne.
I do however, think it could use some punctuation, but that's just me and my perspective.
Dear Wesley
As I said above I am not quite done with this one its still in the rough edit stage and I agree it does need a little more punctuation, but I am very happy you liked it thanks for the comment and the read its always appreciated
love JC xxx
Hi, JC
an anthem for the world , excellently sung.
strong, and well developed.
verse 5: is/are conjugation depends on which clause is being qualified...the lemmings, or sociaty(s)
I think it should read "is".
verse4: tighten to avoid using the word "Their" four times.
only two small niggles... for a BIG poem!
yeah!
Dear Al
Thanks for the suggestions I agree :) and its still in the rough edits stage. It is a big poem but I seem to have a lot to say lately after being silent for so long, my words are my outlet and I haven't had that for a while I am chuffed you liked it Thank you for the read and the comment its always appreciated and a pleasure
love JC xxx
Jayne
Gaia does not see any great leaders at this moment, all of them are there hell bent on their own greed and how to change countries so that their money is safe.
I have been in a food bank for the poor in Australia but not in England but I know they are here, and multiplying like the leaders greed.
We are supposed to be first world countries, that's the laugh of the century and it's only just started.
We even have a coin with the inscription of "built on the shoulders of Men" this is scribed around the edge of the coin.
That's a laugh it should be "built on the poverty and enslavement of Man"
The day our technology is used to eradicate all poverty and illness it can then we will sink backwards.
Take Australia, a beautiful continent surrounded by water, yet it is short of water, it doesn't work for me.
The UK also surrounded by tidal oceans where the tide changes the hight of the water twice a day and we put up stupid wind machines to generate electricity..
A great write there young lady I is grumpy today I have an appointment with Snow White lol.
Take care of you so lovely to have you here again, Yours Ian.T xx
Dearest Ian
When I capitalized "Great leaders" it was tongue in cheek, the leaders of days gone by are but a dream, capitalism has poisoned all of our world, the battle for the mighty dollar is costing lives land and worse our humanity, this world is not the place I was born into, I like to look back at my younger years as a golden time and I am sure for you its even more so.
We live landlocked surrounded by water your right and all over the country there are places literally dying for water. The countryside around us is dryer than I have seen it maybe ever ? normally this time of year things have tinges of green but our lawn is brown and dying there is nothing to mow. The city government have started to implement water restrictions, its going to be a very long very hot summer and I am afraid our fire season maybe a very tough one. One of our family is in the rural fire brigade he's been sent north to help with fire fighting efforts in another town its gotten that bad.
Our Prime Minister seems to think that climate change is just a fantasy he's living in a world of delusion
I am scared to think what he's going to do over the next years of his term, yes he's that stupid and what makes it worse is the Australian public voted them in I can only shake my head and wonder where we are headed, for my part I sometimes think we are already fucked 'cuse the language
You have fun with Snow White I will catch up with you soon :) I am going to finish a piece I am writing its a little on the naughty side I am trying to tone it down before I post it LMAO !!
love always JC xxx
Jayne
I wasn't really up to it with Snow White,
That's why I am so Grumpy La La
Yours as always Ian.T He He
hahaha well I actually didn't
hahaha well I actually didn't think that but you are badness after all LOL big big smiles
love always JC xxx
all what you say
All what you say
is indirectly linked with my and where is god... why
the population… when Lord Krishna is known to have lived over 7500 years as recorded ….and also when Gautama Buddha was born over 2500 years ago…and of course Christ just over 2000 ------the population was sparse !.... each man had an apple tree ….now we smell essence of apples …in Chinese two dollars a bottle /// transferred across all seas .
Then why blame a simple PM/// who has about 7.5 billion mouths to feed …and tend to some Creators wilderness …now we call earth. Thus the creator has catered for 4.2 billion earths elsewhere…. hopefully he has planted newer variety of trees … to feed the human being… as we visit Mars or Jupiter as an alien…. Perhaps we also transformed ourselves in our passed lives … from an exhausted planet…. So let's be wise--------- Prepare for a population expulsion… so that we can visit our kith and kin ….in a newer environment …Perhaps in Gods newer terrain .
Loved
I don't just blame one PM I blame all the power holders for the state the planets in, I think if god had a hand in it he would have made sure they didn't destroy what is supposed to be one of his greatest creations. I think I know the story you are getting some of your figures from I remember reading it the other day maybe you should go back and reread it, I did..
I don't know that we are on the same page with this but I value your comment and your thoughts it was all read and taken in :)
love JC xxx