You smacked a moratorium
Across my mouth,
An invisible hand that said:
"cordoned off, keep out"
Ideas were muffled,
Freedom of speech, A no-go
Whatever was said
Represented a no-show
You built a wall
So high I couldn't see
Not past or around,
Merely, inside of me.
You scratched away
The surface of my smile
Said "hide it", don't confide it
You look like a clown".
Such is the subtle nature
Of the ruse
No bruises, no scars
Just fear-filled abuse.
NS. 10/15/13
Last Few Words: I have tried to used words that reverberate a sense of violence eg smacked, even though this is more about psychological abuse. This is very well captured in the photo of Saatchi & Saatchi, with his hand around Nigella Lawson's throat.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
You've made it rhyme ! With
You've made it rhyme and kept all the original talent!
Love Mand xxx
Thanks Mand!
I think it was more about getting the message across than a concern for poetic rhyme...
Appreciate the read!
NS