BlueDemon77
BlueDemon77
Sep 23, 2013
This poem is part of the workshop:

The Bottom Line

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Strike two Trochaic pentameter

Strike two Trochaic pentameter

Workshop critique: The Bottom Line
SI-lence | SCRATCH-ing | SNOW-y | BRANCH-less | FOR-est
WIT-ness | GLOW-ing | SCREECH-ing | EYES are | GROW-ing
GUN-shot | ROARS in | DIS-tant | BAN-shee | CHOR-us
SOUNDS as | LOUD as | REAP-ers | COM-ing | GO-ing

RON
Blue Demon77

What I want to be is what I was before the knife, before the bed,
before the brooch pin and the salve fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind.

The Eye-Mote Sylvia Plath

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Columbus, Ohio, USA

Favorite Poets: Rimbaud

More from this author

Comments

BlueDemon77

Now come the true beasts: Dactylic Hexameter and Anapestic Hexameter (I know I may not be required to go that far, but I want to, I feel I owe it to myself).

Thanks again!

Ron

Rula

tetrameter, I believe. You will be more than satisfied if you get it correct that far.
Keep up the good work!
I trust your talent and industriousness

BlueDemon77

That's a relief. I'll see how it goes. I've been trying to do relatively decent poetry (failed on the Trochaic, I think) and hope to do the same with the next two forms. Not only the correct meter, but a poem that adds up to a real meaning. Here's hoping!

Ron

wesley snow

I don't care if the quatrains are nonsense words ala Carroll. As long as you grasp the meter I am ecstatic.
This one is perfect Ron. Do not fear The "D" and "A" words... they cannot harm... okay, they can really screw you up bad, but it's all for the purpose of growth.
"Don't hurt what you can't kill".