A low evening sun
glowing through a yellow sky
gilding snow patches
Dec 27, 2010
WINTER SUNSET
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Eastern
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
A Japanese Haiku
explains seasons in syllables
5 7 5=17
U MAY like to rework a bit perhaps
howdy
I rechecked and don't see where I missed count. Perhaps you're thinking evening has 3 syllables, but after checking Webster's I found it has only 2. Appreciate the read and won't mind at all having it pointed out where I messed up........................scribbler PS especially would like to know of a mistake outside of syllable count
I need to
either edit
or u have to accept
my regrets
any way u win
i lose sorry
lol
This is no contest with winners or losers. I know your intent was to help and I know I make enough mistakes to take any help offered lol your friend..................stan
thanx
frnd
i learnt all about haikus from here
only made one or two
so i said
hai to uuuuuuuuuuuu
goood haiku u doooooo
sunset
Once in a while I try a Haiku to save an image in a hurry then expand on it later.....scribbler
sunset
you know how I am , I see and then tell lol....................stan
winter
thank you...........................scribbler
sunset
high praise indeed considering the source...................stan
You're mastering the art of
You're mastering the art of haiku.
Good for you!
~
sunset
nice of you to say, but I'm hardly the master of any form..............................scribbler
I didn't say *master* I said
I didn't say *master* I said *mastering*, Stan... ;-)
~
lol
see, I haven't even mastered reading..................stan
winter
and all I can say is a big thank you lol.......................stan
Heellllloooooo Stan
A stunningly beautiful image you have captured here. From right across the world.
Wonderful to visualize thanks to your beautiful poem.
Thanks Stan
Love Mand xxxxxxxxxx
hhmmmmmmmmmmmm.......
It seems the less I write the better ya'll like it lol. Thank you for the read and kind comment Mandy.............stan
Stan
Stan,
you have me stumped with the syllables in line one.
The word 'even' has two syllables, with the 'ing' being a another. So that would suggest three syllables. That said I have spent a while looking up the word 'evening'...the majority seem to agree that there are three, but some say two?
So we can split the word up it would appear in two ways:
Ev-en-ing
Eve-ning
so I think it comes down to how you promounce it!
How very complicated!
Great Haiku my friend...possibly!
Lol!
I didn't bother with the last two lines because my head hurts!
regards,
HS
Hey Dan
According to Webster's 9th Collegiate Dictionary it's eev-ning although I often hear it pronounced as 3 syllables also. Good ol' English lol. Doc Holliday prescribes 2 aspirin for the head. I think what messes most up is pronouncing the 2nd E which is silent....................scribbler
Stan
Stan,
I have taken 2 Asprins...and I still don't know how many syllables are in that damned word!
Lol!
HS