I hear the whisper
of slippers
light streams
down the hallway
the morning ritual
has begun
a toilet flushing
water runs
hairdryer hums
a day begins
snuggling deeper
finding a pocket
of warmth
I close my eyes
the scent of bacon
challenges sleep
the morning news
reaches out to me
another death
another stabbing
and the list goes on
and on
broken dreams
now lay with me
fraught with pain
and hunger
Comments
Jayne
There is plenty of room to carry on with this one
but I would rather you just open the window
and listen to the things that are there.
Big Red will be putting his head on one side
and not worrying about things he cannot change,
then there is that Kook he will still laugh
even if he is hungry or ill,
and as for those irritating noisy beetles and things
they wont worry much either as they live in the now.
I think I better challenge you to write a poem of beauty,
that carries love and feelings to the reader,
I shall do the same and put on stream by this months end,
I shall write of Australia so that it will be balanced???
Take care young Lady and I look forward to reading your poem of beauty,
Yours as always, Ian.T
PS:- I am an authority on Australia as I spent two weeks there lol
Smile
I promise by the end of this month you shall have your poem, enchanted by beauty and enthralled in love ;)
night night
love always JC xxx
Hi there
love the first line, although whisper is done to death in poems it really works with slippers, since they have such similar sonics.
Don't know why you have made it so long and narrow, but i've mentioned this before and you obviously like this written on a streamer style,
I'd cut the last two Ss, better domestic details than telling us the news is always depressing, we know the news is always depressing, we don't know about you.
Hi JC!
This is a realistic and down to earth poem about everyday life. That style "for me" is very appealing". I like the short sharp stanzas - it adds to the effect. You are a talented poetess - I found myself readily drawn into the world you portrayed. I also liked the contrast between the first five stanza and the last two and how listening to the new can totally effect the day.
Thanks for sharing JC
I very much enjoyed the read.
LOve Mand xxxxx