She walked the world in servile frocks
and slept on cottage floors,
beneath the sun and bonnet rims
behind the hovel doors she slept
but oh, she must have dreamed.
She must have lived another life
beyond the rags and blazing hearth
She must have loved with loves
she never dared to look
right in the eye.
She dreamed of ghosts,
she wrote of them
and now, like them she roams
from mind to mind,
and places dark and lonely as her grave.
Now she is gone,
but now she lives the life she dreamed before.
The ghosts will never leave those halls,
her words, our fleshy haunts.
Comments
William
I think this is one of the best pieces I have read for a while.
It flowed and had a lovely story.
The correctness of layout and poetic form I leave to someone else.
To me it is complete and a grand piece,
Yours Ian.T
PS:- I think the frocks can be singular as Frock, this makes it a statment of her dress and just the one.
Thank you Ian, but I'd like
Thank you Ian, but I'd like to hear your thoughts on the layout and form. I really would.
I paid close attention to the meter with this one, and thanks for the suggestion.
William
As I said I will leave the form and correctness to the ones that know of these things.
I have never been taught about poetry, as I went in the Air Force at 15 so there wasn't a structure for poetry.
Here I have learned of Many things and driven Jess to distraction sometimes with my flippant way of looking at the various forms, and sometimes I even joke a lot to their dismay about those things.
But this is the best place to learn, and I have written the odd poem and conformed with the correct way, but it is a hard job for me to analyse others works, so I just comment on what I read and see as a theme.
This one was good, and I enjoyed reading it, take care out there and keep them coming,
Yours Ian.T
It sounds like...
you have been reading Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein". Great story! Nice take on her writing. ~ Gee
Sad to admit this, but I've
Sad to admit this, but I've never read the book :(
But I do know that gothic atmosphere she creates. Thinking about the Bronte sisters inspires similar feelings in me.
I get the feeling
that "gone" is more dramatic too. :)
Thanks for liking this, and thank you very much for the suggestion. :)
Hello William
not sure that you need to repeat the word "now" twice in two lines. Just thinking.
Love it anyway.
And I thought I could just
And I thought I could just skip that...
Truth be told, it caught my eye. Thanks for pointing back to it.