Seren
Seren
Jun 20, 2013

a lesson in grief

Part 1

I have been the silent soul
watching from the shade

my hands stopped bleeding
when reality poked her head in
I was overcome with flames
still, I became the mourning

hollow, I could only murmur
as the birds in your garden
whistled a hushed melody
I shuffle, wrapped in their song

the ash of my grief flakes away
outstretched hands pile with white lace
so I wander lost and faceless
knowing there is no going home today

your ghosts still haunt our minds
we aggrieved, still grapple at our loss

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

Ian.T

Ian.T

11 years 10 months ago

Just rest a while within your own thoughts until they become sorted.
It will take time and to write about it is good for the sorting.
One morning soon the sunbeams will play with the trees and the birds will sing in tune with their world and yours.
Always know that Spirit is but a thought away and is there to help, all you need to do is know in your own way that quiet place where you can go to rest your aching heart..
I thought of asking the Kookaburra to quell his song but he laughed and said this is what you need, he said he will bring laughter to your heart and you cannot stop him.
Take care young lady and walk in the quiet I send healing to your thoughts and unconditional love from all that I know,
Yours Ian.T

Seren

You have a gift for silencing the chaos, I am still taking it one step at a time, grief and all its strange ways have been taking its toll ... sleep is a dream I cant seem to get much in the last couple of weeks

the kookaburra's wake us each morning perched on the power lines they have been there every day since I can remember

love always Jayne-Chloe

Seren

thank you for your words, its been a rough couple of weeks for us, sorry for the delay in answering

I am very happy you liked this

love and hugs your Jayne-Chloe xx

lonlyhrtsclub13

lonlyhrtsclub13

11 years 10 months ago

It's Carrie :) Long time, no chat. Beautiful poem, so much emotion put into it. Hope you are doing well!

Seren

Seren

11 years 10 months ago

In reply to by lonlyhrtsclub13

Its so good to see you around I am very glad you liked my poem :) thank you

I will have a look and see if you have posted anything as I said above its really good to see you

love JC xxx

lonlyhrtsclub13

lonlyhrtsclub13

11 years 10 months ago

In reply to by Seren

I have posted quite a bit, especially as of recent. I tend to use Neopoet as an outlet for my stress and life situations. I have created an alter ego who is becoming relatively well known. Feel free to ride by and check her out, as well as some of my other works. It is good to see you as well. Hope you are feeling good :) I do host a dark poetry chat the second and third Saturdays of the month, if you are ever interested in stopping in.

Seren

I'll have to work out the time difference for your chat I will keep an eye on the events calender, I love chat though sometimes its hard with the time difference, I am just catching up with a few comments then I will take a look at what you've been writing

love JC xxx

S

Am I correct in assuming this is about your mother? The sadness and loss are well stated throughout. For some reason I keep wanting that first line to have some alliteration....hidden heart or maybe silent shadow(or soul)? And maybe drop "so" in line 7. I hope the loss here is not from something recent..............stan

Seren

No this ones not for my mother, a couple of weeks ago we lost 2 family members in 3 days, then they scheduled both funerals on the same day same time, we went to Snakes sisters service and my kids attended our aunts, its been a very sad time for us I am writing a lot I've just got to get the chance to finish a few off and post

I like your suggestions I will do a small edit now

love JC xxx

BettyBuff

So sad, the line 'the ash of my grief flakes away' is powerful. It reminds me of feeling like a 'husk' within my own body, numb and at the same time so fragile in my emotions when I lost my two boys many years ago. Your exquisite writing talent still shines. It's all grist to the mill to a poet. A gift of spirit.

Be brave.

Ellie xxx

Seren

So good to see you around ! its been a sad time for us going through the stages of grief, I never knew you had lost children big hugs, my son josh would have been 20 this year so I understand the loss and pain all too well

its hard coming to grips with one death let alone two as you know, I find myself at odd times with tears streaming down my face, to be honest for the first week when it all happened I was silent and a little in shock, I had a surprise visit from my daughter which cheered me up, I hadnt seen her since January

thanks for the read and your thoughts its always a pleasure to hear from you

love JC xxx