scribbler
Dec 26, 2010

CRUMBLED BRICKS

I once more dip my toe into free verse.............

Ruins
not just for the old world
any longer

Old factory abandoned
victim of neglect
and time
inexorable

Broken windows gazing
like cataracted empty eyes
no longer seeing anything
save memories
of more prosperous times

While within.........emptiness
where drafts ( or ghosts ? ) stir cobwebs
where once looms flew
or furnaces blasted
for an older generation
replaced

Elders in the mill's village
recalling old days now past
like dreams upon awakening

Every country has its ruins
some are just not as old
with histories not so
remote

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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Comments

S

It seems some subjects just work better in free verse. Thank you for the kind comment...............stan

S

You know I write what I see and I was looking in the ruin displayed in my mirror lol.....................stan

R

raj

14 years 4 months ago

you have turned ruins into edifices...

Eduardo Cruz

The fact is that it still stands, and that is a testament of time that live forever inside a sharp and imagine filled mind. you have draw a beautiful picture from the memories in your vivid mind.
thanks for sharing, what a grand Job!
Always Eddie

S

I thank you for taking the time to read and leave such a nice comment.................stan