Experimenting Seasons

When Summer's sun
rises in my eyes,
when Fall brushes
up my thoughts,
when Winter
washes the tears
I've often disguised,
just then my
heart is ready
in Spring to bloom.

About This Poem

Last Few Words:

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

hi Mark

I'm not sure about the title either lol
Any suggestions would be appreciated.

I'm happy you found this critique-worthy
Very much appreciated.

Rula

Not sure of this one, I think something like "Seasons Flow" would suit but on this piece the theme , I would love to see you expand it a little to bring in some of the things I know are there from you,
Yours Ian

Hello Ian

This one has just written it-self as they say. Guess it's time to be more selective in what to post for the audience from now on?!
still thinking of a more suitable title.
Thanks for dropping by. Very much appreciated.

Hello John

Kind of you to drop a visit and give this some thought.
I don't know about autumn and fall . Always thought fall is more expressive.
As for "eyes", I believe you're right.A very insightful suggestion for someone
new at the field. :)
Will be taken into consideration
Always appreciated..

Dear Rula. Under a disguise

Dear Rula. Under a disguise you bloom,
as if shy to step out into the raw of nature,
and yet it makes for another kind of view,
of an old theme.

Love Ann.