lou

Dec 23, 2010

Facsimile of the human psyche unravelled.

Finger tips etching grooves into the earth’s crust,
I’m clinging , precariously,
Frantic struggling, against the abyss.

I’m an enigma,
Descending into ambiguity.
Clutching at sanity.

Mistrust of reality,
Crushed under its gravity.
Grinding me into dust.

Cataclysmic hush,
As my world, rolls in on itself.
Leaving a husk of my former self.

Be still, be quiet,
In a holding pattern.
Inertia creeping.

I’m ineffectual ,
Off the radar.
I’m in stasis.

Facsimile of the human psyche unravelled.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Now that the contest is over I thought I would post my version on stream.

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Region, Country: West London, GBR

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda

Comments

Shirl

thank you very much

love lou

Dear Lou,

Cataclysmic hush,
As my world, rolls in on itself.
Leaving a husk of my former self.

This reminds me of the way I was before I was medicated for my OCD and depression. It really touched me.

love, Cat

Cat

we seem to be suffering from the same things, except i'm not on medication.

i'm so pleased that you like it, i hope it didn't upset you.

love lou xx

hi again

hey there wow wee this is as good from you as I remember
and I don,t say that often i'm truly impressed
on first couple of reads I cant pick fav lines
this is one to mark ,,,,,,,,,,,,ziggy xx

Ziggs

I am very happy that you are so impressed.

Thank very much.

Lou xx

Lou

Lou,

as you know we had our own competition and I declared yours better than mine...I lied!! LOL!

Here is the best one:

Facsimile

Facsimile of the human psyche unravelled
Reveals a paper trail of the life I've travelled
Incriminating evidence of my vital force now found
Like the endless paper on the fax, I fall without sound

Attacked, by the fax
Back-tracked into the crack
Trapped by the facts
Slapped by the unseen smack

Facsimile of the virtual spirit is revealed
Unravels a path of the life I thought concealed
Accusing proof of my stained and broken soul
Like the paper in the bin, I fail the quality control

We should have a challenge like this more often. Seriously yours was better in my opinion.

Hope you don't mind me using your posting to selfishly post mine!

Hope your Xmas is going well,

regards,

HS

Of course I don't mind, mine is clearly better LOL!!

I'm going to get together with my family later, so that will be nice, as I adore my nephews.

Hope your day is going well.

Lou