thou dwellest with -in
ma heart
like dwellest
twas yesterday
and
thy love cometh
like a fountain
burstin all the way...
twill be a living life,
when twill be a game of friendship ...
hasn’t ever struck you
that we or twill be one poet...
like none as tomorrow comes
and
this day dieth
was that not anointed yet say
some shalt
some day
Shakespeare
and
Loved
lived like none else
on the ma earth
till dis day
so be it today
omen
Comments
I think I understand...
what you are trying to do here but, the proper spelling of the last word is Amen, or was that part of what you were trying to do? ~ Gee
i AM naive...
not ignorant..
it is i know
Amen!
but modernisation treatment
was the aim of this poem
My bad...
I know you are not naive, nor ignorant. I just made the mistake of forgetting it. ~ Gee
Loved
Behave yourself, there is enough bastardisation of English each day on the TV as many tongues are spoken that resemble our basic way of talking.
Once the French tried to purify their language band failed miserably, and the older I get the more funny pronunciation of our way of talking becomes the norm. My spell checker is in English (UK) but still accept the USA way lol.
Honestly I didn't like this piece much it was too bitty I know it was like a skit on old and new but to me it didn't work.. Whoops what have I said, I am scuttling off to my cave, Yours Ian.T
UR WISH
let others relish the dish
Loved
I can see what you were trying to do and trying to modernise this one
but you just didnt pull it off for me, I think you have strayed off the path somewhat, backtrack some and start again ;)
sorry I cant even offer a crit I dont think I could be able to help you with this
love Jayne-Chloe x
SOME LIKE ...SOME STRIKE
I can't compose all
that all will like ...
many will spike
I'm now going on a hike
to search more poetry
the forests are dark today
some will help my mind play
Omen is that dark person
Devil Beelzebub . Hope that wasn't what you meant!