Of living truth
sex was the first subject of existence
even God knew
without it there can be no business
of any kind worth a dime... …
we all make love
in the cover of darkness ..
by norms laid out by those
who indulge in broad day light,
under the covers
nay, veils of masks
religious
we all have to brave
those who are so deprave
as sermons they pass
we praise
as a child sucks
below
we all by now know...
Comments
Loved
This is not up to your usual of late quality, there seems to be a groove that you have stuck in, about Sex and a God that may or may not be.
Shall we just accept that both exist in a variety of conditions and move away from this worn pathway..
Paint me a picture of your surroundings, where the colours have changed and the direction has become blurred, where trust in yourself and others has faded into a day of sunshine and lapping waves.
Let the young Bard compose something away from this table that has been set for many days, even as the mad Hatter says lets all move around one place again, lol
Take care young Bard, a new day we see, Yours Ian.T
shall pay heed as I always do ....and unpublish if objected to
shall pay heed
and un-publish
once the snow melts outside
and i have the forest
where I can go for a ride
and seek the solace of nature...
so that this bard
more softer poetry does nurture
away from the two realities of
as you have already said it
I shall pay heed
let me get on my steed..
Loved
Don't unpublish, your words are fine, I just ache for you to move away from those two subjects into another place, where you can challenge that depth I know you have, and to write, for us to see another facet of thee.
What will you see out there as you move within that great outside,
Yours Ian.T
thanks friend
this one was just off the cuff comment
on some great poets poem here
that's all
not my personal doing
smacks of child ....
you know what happens
all over the world
Your certainly in a different
Your certainly in a different place from when I last read you, I think with a few tweeks this one could read better
we all sex in the cover of darkness ...
this could be this
we all make love in the cover of darkness ...
im not offended by the word sex I just think you have over used it in this piece
I will watch the edits see what you make of this one
love JC xxx
first edit
accomplished ....
I see you see
some potential in me
that's what makes be strive JC
THANKS TO THEE
I like it, it reads better
I like it, it reads better and lends a certain softness to your poem
I'm off to sleep
Dreaming lilies
Weaving tomorrow
Lifting the rain
Goodnight
Love Jc xxx
Could be altered slightly
those who are so deprave -you could change this to depraved and not lose tempo
as sermons they pass
we praise
as a child sucks
glad for your note
shall