IN MEDIAS RES
I take the moments as they come
and when the moment is kind
I ride the wind in furious flow
as far as my ecstasy will go.
But when the sickness strikes
I no longer have a voice to sing
frozen in fear and desolaton.
I wait pretending
holding on to my soul
as long as I can
until
I start to live
again
Comments
Powerful write
This poem made me feel uneasy. I stopped, read it again and breathed. As a rough draft, it's a poem with life. rough drafts - to me - mean they haven't yet been cleaned up and crafted. They are the birthing, like a wood carver examines a piece of wood or bark and begins their work of astonishment. This another poem I would love to see worked on and your journey with it.
xxx
Thanks, Jennifer. I will work
Thanks, Jennifer. I will work on it. Any specific elements I should change? This is good critique.
Joe
A change from your all doom ones, you have put in that spark which you feel on good days, it makes this one cover a few things.
Loved it and that new way of yours in the last few works,
Yours Ian.T