I used to have much better sight
take that fly two blocks away
lit on a house painted off-white
can't tell if eyes are green or gray
My hearing ain't what it once was
I still hear that train in the next town
not hearing passengers gives pause
leading to my worried frown
And old legs are almost worn out
just dragging two deer from the woods
that last mile almost makes me shout
late at night this makes me brood
Old porrige head was sharper too
quadratic equations were no sweat
now it's about all I can do
to recall another word for "wet"
You think perhaps my memory
recalls me better than I was?
if that's so then it may be
selective memory's the cause
Comments
A fading life is what we are
A fading life is what we are this one was a little below your normal write, it is unusual for you to not Rhyme the couplets, the theme is OK but again as I have found we need to find something new to write of.
We at our age know the facts and have told those sassy young lads etc enough times about growing old.
We should all get together and have a theme day once a month to revitalize our fading brains LOL.
lit on a house painted off-white, cannot reference the word Lit?
"Sat" maybe? if a fly can sit, lol
Stanza 3 needs to conform Woods and Brood ??
Stanza 5 needs to conform Was and Claws..
Cannot find anything more to be picky about..
Take care young Stan still love your poetry, Yours Ian.T
Hi Ian
Lit might well be a southern thing. If something alights in the past it has lit. Now even you must admit was and claws rhymes lol. But this was written mainly for fun. Lookking back it always seems we were better in youth than we Really were lol..........appreciate the visit............stan
Stan
Yep I know about your "lit" as I have seen many a fly "lit" upon a cow pat and hope they don't like to come indoors lol..
OK, OK, Was and claws is a loose rhyme lol
Yes and I loved the piece as always, Yours Ian.T
PS:- can't think what Loved is talking about I always support his writing??
when Ian speaks to Stan he is very much polished
when Ian speaks to Stan
he is very much polished
but now he rarely speaks
to young bards
may be he wants us abolished
but life's ways are a tryst ..
ha good new word Ian
and best too
only if you endorse poetry of mine
wait read this first...
the mouth drops
dentures fall
the smell dogs snarl at
and the hair is a tell tale
cancer of prostate
what of age
you pass away
why fade
let life ebb away
under a tree\s shade..
and now others oldies too
may add a line or two ...
Hi Loved
Thanks for having taken time to peruse this scribble...............stan
I really like tis
And it does rhyme loosely
But perhaps last stanza could be(considering it Is YOOR work!)
You think perhaps my memory
recalled better in the past
if that's so then it may be
my hands let slip what once held fast?
Style / type: