The old codger sat
His hands in his lap
Waiting for pleasure
The moment to treasure
When Constance walked by
No stockings or tights
And he could expose
And see how she froze
When she saw his red flesh
Which he firmly pressed
Tween thumb and forefinger
In order to bring her
Alert to his action
asking for reaction
Showing she had seen him
Throbbing pulsating
His fingers gyrating
Juices escaping
in the back of the bus
Mar 09, 2013
The old pervert
About This Poem
Last Few Words: A Philippine nurse ( Constance) said this happened to her on a London bus!
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
lovely public masturbation
a public presentation
and what self enjoyment
no exhilaration
public fuckin....... open nuisance
your enlightenment! wow what a
phobic presentation....
still my salutation
remission for this emission
meant submission
I found...
loved's comment as funny as I found frenchf's poem. Maybe that says something about me and/or my sense of humour. I don't know. There are plenty of crazy people out there and unless they are dangerous, I just laugh at them. Maybe I'm crazy? ~ Gee
who is crazy????
that guy ...
Frenchy F
or
I??
if all in what
order...
views of all will give life
to this hopefully imagined
episode
Actually poor Constance had sat next to him
And she got up and moved when she noticed but he had done a sort of 0 to 16 seconds. Fortunately as a nurse she just felt disgusted as she looks at bodies all day!
you meant a quickie
ere the next bus stop
all guys do
to satisfy ... xyz
if not self
a game guys play
The poem is nothing,
it has no poetic, aesthetic or meaningful value. It's not even funny, it's a crime and one that can be highly traumatising.
Loved's comments are as perverted as the public masturbator. Still spying on kids in the park, Loved?
Beau is right here and I'm surprised at you, Geezer, that must surely have been Killer talking.
Difficult to know how your describe
All that making it poetic, aesthetic or meaningful but factual ....yes!
I was too harsh, over-reacting as usual,
angered by Loved and Geezer's comments.
Of course it does have poetic qualities, but poetry is not reporting.
hi
the last 2 lines are too graphic and subvert the satire.
I saw what you meant and changed it so it is more
Acceptable in polite society!
angered by Loved and Geezer's comments??????
angered by Loved and Geezer's comments
should one get all comments approved
by all ...
so that they anger
none at all??
let's have our own minds at play
each one has a manner of ones own
at foreplay
By all means let's have own minds at play
and our own feelings.
And a bit of human decency would not go astray (I include myself here, of course)
Frankly, my dear, you have often crossed the line into downright creepy in your poetry and comments.
i am learning my Lord ...shall abide with you as
you'd like to
so have limited
my interaction here gradually
as others elsewhere
beckon me..
....''''''downright creepy in your poetry and comments.?????'''''
you should and MUST point it out to me
a dwarfed mind
will listen to thee
and obliterate it willingly....
your first comment on this poem is a case in point,
it implies a tacit approval of public masturbation as a male thing.
sorry not public masturbation,.... as approved but
I did also experience a similar situation
decades ago
hence tis so
shall remove it if FR says so..
her page we r not entitled to
sex rage..
Oh, dear French, I don't like controversy in the thread
interfering with the appreciation of a poet's work and I apologise for it here.. Your work I do appreciate,.
though I must say this, as mentioned before, is little more than reporting. How about some insight into the emotional impact on your friend, it is not something lightly shrugged (or wiped) off. Or perhaps even an exploration of the nasty old pervert's mind? I've never understood the need for self-exposure, or any non-consensual sexual appetites. Perhaps you could shed some light?