Just to hold a pebble
quietly, in my hand
may not seem important
‘less one was stuck in sand.
How important a conversation
if one was all alone,
without replies or feedback
one would stir to quest, his own.
Just to see a child's eyes, razzle
Because of the butterfly on her hand !
it’s remarkable for what one yearns
no one could ever understand.
Just to hold a pebble
because you handed it to me,
we’ll forever share that moment, rare
individually for eternity.
Last Few Words: This is a re-write, or rather.....the beginning of one; of sorts. At any rate, suffice it to say, ths was, much...............much, worse ! This selfless act of "attrition", on my part; MAY.....(quite possibly, AND; probably).....will endeavor, (to convince the heavens, on my behalf); to keep me outta, "Hell", where I completely understand that: there IS, no toilette paper. doc.
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction: How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
I think you put the extra spaces between lines
to make it seem more profound.
It doesn't work