...in which Wesley tries to explain where he's been.

I came before the Lord and saw him not.
The light of God was darkness unto me.
Within my heart and mind was only thought
that blinded so, my spirit could not see.
Upon my knees I prayed he might reveal
the majesty and truth I had been told
would crest me with a balm that chance might heal.
But faith had never come to me so bold
to settle on my shoulders as a dove.
And so I stretched my hands upon the ground
to seek the harder his alleged love,
but more the hollowness within me found
that emptiness grew prevalent the more.
I wept and cried aloud in anger, pain
until my voice, my soul was raw and sore.
And still I saw him not; I thrashed amain.
My flesh I tore and poured to dirt my life
and pitied self, my waywardness, its cost.
He’d taken all prosperity, my wife;
all worth was full, irrevocably lost.
But then within my broken empty core,
while damning him and praying I were dead,
I heard the subtle voice- it through me tore
as God said simply “Brother, raise your head.”

amain; a violent physical response emotionally driven

About This Poem

Last Few Words: and so I begin.

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Southern California, USA

Favorite Poets: Tolkien

Comments

Hi Wes

Sounds like somebody had an epiphany . And I think this must be the shortest poem Of yours I've ever read lol. Welcome back.............stan

Wes

You have been calling your God, did you expect a fanfare of trumpets and a deep loud voice to tell you he was there with you. "Overkill"
Not sure where you have been, was it a sabbatical or pilgrimage??
As he would say there is no need to look for my mansion I have built it within you..
I can never understand the point of looking for something that is never lost, and just a thought away..
Welcome back young traveller, I shall talk to Cata, and see if there are things that need changing in his diary so that we can resume our workshop.
Go well will talk later yours, Ian.T

Welcome back, we need you.

The despair I relate to, as you well know.

The spiritual overtones are a bit over the top in my opinion. but what ever works for you.

If the line
He’d taken all prosperity, my wife;
is literal, my deepest sympathy. I've never known how to make love work. See Noel Coward's "I Am No Good At love"
http://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/i-am-no-good-love-great-poetry-wo…

I too

am curious to learn more!

Thank you all.

I will not try to explain as that would be tedious to read, but I suspect some alterations will be noticed.
As for the poem, it is not meant to be one of my best as it was written in a single draft (not my style). It was the content that concerned me (also not my style). But to put minds at rest all is well.
Extraordinarily well.
me

You

"Extraordinarily well." Those words will have to do, until I receive the email you promised would be forthcoming.
Just so you know, I don't mind 'tedious', but, I do get antsy being kept waiting.

You're in my heart and prayers, my dear.

Sue

I hope,

I hope this is not true to life, as i have such a short fuse when people try to hang on to a fantasy. We hide all our wrongs in religion saying it was gods will, until we start pinning medals on each other when we get something correct and god's wiil goes out the window as we say in Scotland. No sorry for my rant, good to have you back in whatever condition. Regards Roscoe..