I close my eyes to see that magnificent curve of woman running from hip through waist.
Companion in flesh to cello
carved by old knowing hands
of master craftsman
who works alone
in a small room,
creating immeasurable beauty.
Carving contours along which I can slowly wind.
Carved with purpose and time,
until the lean of its lines
can wail sadness in gut wrenching, murderous, murky tones.
When just a moment before she left lullaby's in my ear, breathy and sensual.
Now this hand carved woman
is dropping charcoal grey moans
into my fire pit burning.
As each one
drops
down into,
the volume goes up.
Her sound as brazen
as my hands moving
inch
by
inch
along the silhouette of her handcrafted frame.
Soon she speaks loud forward sounds,
passion rocked back and forth movement.
I be the bow and she be the strings.
Woman sings.
We be symphony.
I, with woman touch magic that she feels
with her woman touch need.
Lips on lips.
Amorous tongue
forming soft secretive sounds
that grow into whispered words
until they finally emerge
as vibrant volume that viciously
rocks these rolling curves we revel in
and on
and under
and then…
we meet
at the edge,
and
drop
with the bass.
Sink like pillows and breathe like beasts.
I give her my bass moan kisses
and she gives me her hand carved
cello curves
music.
Comments
I be the bow
Ans she be the string sounds like an ephraim line. Nice images
Is that a good thing or a
Is that a good thing or a plagiarizing thing? I'm going to saaayyyyy thaaaank - you? :P
Not sure
Poets should retain their identity but be helped by others on this site. He helps me a lot as do others
You have no idea how much I
You have no idea how much I struggled with that line...lol. Break it up, don't break it up. Break it up, don't break it up. A mess!
Thank you - I needed someone else's perspective there.
Thank you for enjoying it as well :)
Hi
One a woman of flesh and blood, the other of crafted wood. Both coming together to convey something greated that the sum of the two. I liked the extreme variation in line length. I think it mimics the rise and fall of the notes and their intensity. Well........not being much at free verse I guess that's about all I can say lol.........stan
Oh the confusion!!! Lol I
Oh the confusion!!! Lol I guess I'm back to determining what to do with the line myself. We shall see. Thank you everyone who has taken the time to read it thus far and give me your opinions :)
It has been an image in an unfinished work of mine for some time
Music 4/2/10
Ron
BlueDemon77
-
cello back leans soft against me
female thrill of voice arrests me
string that sings a song caress me
in ways I feel internally
-
satin tones over her strings flow
I see her tense as frictions grow
though the overture begins as slow
the end is all fortissimo
I think sometimes people just come up with the same idea simultaneously. It's happened to me quite a bit.
Ron
Well I don't think it's quite
Well I don't think it's quite a stretch - the comparison of woman and cello - even just from the basic shape of both alone the similarities are on point. I wonder how many others there are....
Well yours, even if unfinished is a lovely start and mine makes warms me so if anyone with that same idea has an effect that comes even close - fabulous if you ask me.
Thanks for sharing that
Well I don't think it's quite
Well I don't think it's quite a stretch - the comparison of woman and cello - even just from the basic shape of both alone the similarities are on point. I wonder how many others there are....
Well yours, even if unfinished is a lovely start and mine makes warms me so if anyone with that same idea has an effect that comes even close - fabulous if you ask me.
Thanks for sharing that
Blue
I liked the comparison reminds me of 88 two fat ladies,
now frowned on here as a bingo call but another story..
Your first two lines could be spread over four
to ease the reader into the theme but that is just up to you..
I close my eyes
to feel that magnificent curve
as that of woman
running from hip through waist.
Now this part where you have said to "Drop Down"
As each one
drops
down into,
This is a non to me, not sure of what others will think,
but the only way to Drop is Down so it is an uneccasary word
As each one
drops into,
Loved the overall read though and as all poems or pieces a tiny tweak here and there,
can only improve its read,
Yours Ian.T