club special
Feb 07, 2013

Indifference

Indifference unsheaths its bitter
Sword
As mercy gathers her ruinous
Horde
The joker jests in courts of
Jester
A king he laughs at mistress
Lecture
Envy fancies his moldy coat
As pride recites the songs he
Wrote
Clairvoyance struck blind--
Her vision beneath
As deceit he grins though
Rotton teeth
As doubt drinks from the
Bitter cup
Greed will empty it--then
Fill it up
Vision blinks--eyes full of
Sand
As a lie and fear walk hand
In hand
Forgiveness finds her new
Cold shoulder
As lust instructs the way to
Hold her
Guilt it hides in footsteps
Past
Remorse withdraws--his path
Is cast
Death he hides in sunsets
Shadow
A birth alights upon dawns
Meadow

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Colorado

Favorite Poets: William Blake

More from this author

Comments

C

I have but one observation at this particular reading.... The pattern on the page is so evenly proportioned it keeps the eye from reading it without a bookmark or ruler. Maybe you would consider grouping lines and providing spaces between groups (stanzas, if you will) at certain intervals, just to aid the eye in reading. Cheers.