Rendition

it was not until barren plains
made a home in me,
my lips were chewed
from the search for something
I didn’t and could never possess
(I thought)

endlessly, I felt awash,
chiseling new geography
my dusty visage changed posture,
carving numbers into my spine

I found an answer

but was it just too little ?
pink lines marked the path
but still, I hadn’t wanted to see,
I clenched my hands
and strange visions of whiteness
lined every road I travelled …

I never looked,
choosing instead
with a single embrace
to seduce the dark,
always thinking,
I could have whatever
end of beginning I sought

all it would have taken
was one step into light,
and my agony
would have eased

my truth was finding
that nothing is ever over,
in the living of a life
is the morning of death
perpetually

I now see threads of us
wind around the hand of mother-time,
remembrance being her art

but now, I forgive without thought
sliding between her fingers,

unclenching mine

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Hi JC

Just a couple of things....'travelled'.....and is it supposed to be 'morning' or 'mourning' ?...an exercise in homophones! LOL

'always thinking I could have whatever end of beginning I sought'...wow, such a profound line, gets to the heart of the piece. Liked it.

Ells x

Hey Ells

Thanks for pointing out travelled I missed it ... And its meant to be morning ... Very glad you liked it

Jc xxx

Jayne

A lovely write, it would be lovely if everyone could see that stepping into the light and rejoicing about life is far better than skulking around in the shadows.
Even though the reality of being able to see things as they are, is sometimes a heavy burden, Loved this one, Yours Ian.T

Thanks Ian

Having had depression I think no matter how bad things get you must always look for the beauty or gentlest way to get yourself through each day ... I'm very happy you liked it

Love Jc xxx

Thanks Ian

Double post

i could observe

a sigh-full deliverance
every alternate line sighs
good effect I thought

thanks Loved

Glad that you noticed :) I have been working on format and using bold and caps etc just for effect

love Jayne-Chloe xxx

Depression is just deficiency of serotonin in the brain

Love your lines

I know

thanks for the read and the comment much appreciated :))

Jayne-Chloe xxx

Jayne

Just a couple of small, tiny, tiny, things:-
(but was it too little too late?----This line sounds like a cliché ???

end of beginning I sought)---- is there a need for the Bracket if there is forget I asked lol
Take care keep your comp above water we need to hear from you, will talk in the next day or so, Yours Ian,,Anne, & friends
I have asked Sister Teresa to come with you on Tuesday, if I forget My thoughts are with you also x

Thanks Ian

hmmmm your right about too little too late and I have debated on the brackets but now you have mentioned it i will remove them I wasnt sure if they should be there or not ... thanks for the return visit i will update it now and try and think of another line for that too little too late

love always Jayne-Chloe xxx