everything you’ve said
whispers round to me
here now I sit
this warning is free
dead are my dreams
in your pretense of care
sweeping the misery
as you reek of despair
A fair weather friend
in the mirror narcissus
your lies pave roads
a consummate actress
I have begun to believe
ricin flows in your veins
everything you touch
weeps of black stains
all poison you leach
flows right back to me
and as I found out
I raged disbelief
a roaring rant
told them they lied
here as I weep
the truth will not die
to my face you smile
as fangs stroke my hair
coaxing and pleading
pretension webs there
a black widow spider
masked in mortal garb
the spear of your words
broke my skin like a barb
through the weather of life
in the course of the rain
I have measured my life
in the blood of the pain
A beaker of misery
I add to the pot
from friend to foe
this cant be forgot
I’ve come to tell you
you’ve been mistaken
for my spirit breathes
and is not forsaken
see I maybe down
but honey not out
you watch your back
when I come I wont shout
as the Chinese whispers
you’ve spread about me
in this river of hate
my agony is freed
revenge is served cold
is something I’ve heard
but the blood of a mongol
pumps the heart of this bird
so watch through the night
keep your ear to the dark
that scratch in the wall
carries more than a bark
from wretch to the wrath
I have now become
you killed all the light
in the heart of my sun
Jan 23, 2013
Judas Kiss
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Jayne
This is a very strong beautiful piece, beautiful in its formation and meaning.
I feel the words as they flow and it is more like "Pilgrims Progress" than the "Lord is my shepherd.".
The two valleys if I remember right are there in disguise, there is no need to break it for breath, as breathing is one thing we dare not do as we journey so.
This in its bareness to me is one of your best writes, but if I dwell, the eyes will begin to swell, and rolly polly tears will form.
The words portrayed a feeling and I know of these feelings.
Hold your own council to the words of others, and grasp that spark and journey with us, Yours Ian.T (Hoping not to be too deep)
The line where you use forgot:- (this can't be forgot,) would it be stronger with Forgotten on the end,???(:~)
Ian
Your never too deep and I am happy that it affected you it was written in one sitting with much emotion I have come back to it and tidied it up some and I think in a couple of places it still needs a little work ... but like with most of my poems I let them sit between each edit it allows my mind to clear and sometimes things or words I may not have thought of will jump out at me
I am very humbled you think its some of my best work and I didnt break it down into stanza's as I thought it may take away from the rhythm of the piece and with this one there is no time to breathe
thank you for your kind and gentle review of what was a big ol' rant
love always Jayne-Chloe xxx
Oh lord
I hope this is all poetic and not that you have been betrayed xxxx
French
I dont think I could have written this without being betrayed but its all water under the bridge now I am a forgiving person and this person is apart of my life once again(it will never be the same) but just the same lifes too short to hold grudges
Jayne-Chloe xxx
i wrote a poem of the same
i wrote a poem of the same name yours is beautiful x
Thank you Sue
I will go have a look for it, I wrote this one quite sometime ago but it had never been finished off properly
Jayne-Chloe xxx