Who Knows?

...but, my love,
might our twilight years turn brittle and cold

shoulders slumped
the shape of question marks
posing
our fate

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: upstate New York USA, USA

Comments

Wow

The question mark of the bent back with age
Lovely

our first meeting ( if I recall correctly)

so, hello, and thank you for your response

Loved this, quite haunting,

Loved this, quite haunting, clever, both sad and gentle.

another first meeting (I think)

hello Jenifer... I am Al

thanks for the gracious comments . I appreciate the feedback

Hi al, lovely to meet you,

Hi al, lovely to meet you, and yes, I am quite new.

thank you for dropping in. We go way back to pre-crash days (you were Seren then). You were the first to comment on any of my poems as I recall.
I still appreciate all your thoughts and time as much as I did back then

thank you

Your welcome

I remember when you first started it seems like a lifetime ago pre-crash, the site is getting back to what it used to be and its nice to see some old friends posting makes me place feel more like home

you will see me around and I am sure i will be back to read more I have always enjoyed your work

hugs and love Jayne-Chloe xxx

Hi Al,

Who knows indeed, questions everyone has asked
when in a relationship. love this little ditty of yours,
only one little critique, I believe the line " the shape
of question marks" would be stronger ( my opinion
only) if you removed the question mark from the line
" might our twilight years turn brittle and cold? "

thanks for posting

Richard

hey Richard

sorry about the late response, ( I could probably use this as an opening line for most of my replies)
thanks for stopping by. Glad you enjoyed the poem. I have used your suggestion.

I haven't commented often enough on your work...but I always look forward to seeing " Moonman (new)" on the
activity list . Your stuff is always interesting and good.

correspondence is still diffucult for me.