Linearity

I unraveled my brain
stretched - it - out - in - a - line
it was long

tiny beads of instants
each,
incommunicado
with
all
others

it was
fun until it
got alltangleyandknottedup
again

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: upstate New York USA, USA

Comments

This made me smile

As I read the first stanza my inner fascist scientist screamed "you can't! The brain is a complex gestalt, linearity is anathema to it!"

The second two stanzas made up for it. The concrete poetry aspects
stretched - it - out - in - a - line
and
alltangleyandknottedup
work well.

thanks, Jess

I have not been around here for awhile. I miss it, and hope to write more soon.
...ups and downs...around and around....

clever concrete

Bravo...fun read.

Ells

hello

thank you for your comment...much appreciated

brilliant

I thought it was wonderful I can't see anything to add or change

Bravo

Regards Jc x

hi, Jc

thank you for your generous compliment

BL

One after my own heart,
or should I dare say Brain,
Mine only stretches a mile,
It stretched a little bit!
This made me smile,
Am having an ex tension put in
Where I worry less lol,
Yours Ian.T

hello, Ian

it has been awhile! glad you got something from this. It was a very quick write...just trying to get back in the old saddle again... thanks

Al

Look forward to your future writes as this one adds another facet in our poetry range.
I sometimes try others style when seeing new ways, it is quite refreshing.
Take care Yours Ian.T

Probably extends to the moon and back

all our neurones and axons stretched out and all the bits inbetween that get tangled with Alzheimers
Your knotty bits was Alzheimers to me

Hi

thanks for your thoughts...very much appreciated

hey Ephraim

I like your suggestions...will use them ( I"ll eventually get around to implamenting them)

and thanks for the BiG compliment