I am flinging plastic stars across the room
I decided we need a wish now more than ever
And so far
It’s not working.
Jan 10, 2013
Only Semi-Luminescent
About This Poem
Last Few Words: an attempt at short poetry. maybe a longer version? oh blarrgh.
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Try making some paper stars,
Try making some paper stars,
your own design, and then...
You'll see.
Its fn doing that anyway isn't it?
Short and sweet.
Ann
to all
sometimes i feel like there are not enough words; in this case i felt there could be far too many :) thanks for the read!
mag
Mag
It is the picture you paint with your words that matter, there are several ways of stringging the words, yours are OK:-
(I am flinging plastic stars across the room
I decided we need a wish now more than ever
And so far
It’s not working.)
Why plastic stars and a room,
Look out of your window at night and throw a real star across the universe.
You can do this from your chair something like:-
I am seated
There is a need to throw stars across my room
I shall reap the wishes
If only they would come true.
The picture changes the thoughts remain in a different energy, this theme has endless words, to paint the same picture, Yours Ian.T
Mag!
This is a perfect poem...
even at my age the anger
far far from youthful angst is there
throwing wishs
then dreaming on them
or casting them
a great line!
Todays world even with its riches
still harvests the thorns and thistles of
a passage to horizons or dreams
or hauntedness
the hunger for good tidings
arriving empty
and this poetry is excellent!!
Thank You!