Seren
Seren
Jan 17, 2013

impossible dreams

I longed for more time
to lay cornerstones,
but life had started
detaching my soles

I wanted more daylight
to see a Galaxy of beauty
that rested,
within one finger of breath

I desired of many things

to walk the Ponte Vecchio
and glimmer in its wares,
casting a reflection in the Arno
that wavered to the Vasari

to shelter
beneath a Sistine vision
as Michelangelo, Raphael
Botticelli and Bernini
dart in and out
of my haunt,
smudging all in view

to drink the atmosphere
of Stonehenge,
drowning in its history
and laying as sacrifice
in a swoon of blood

‘I want’
screams the child in me

~~~~~~~

I’ve become a fresco
fingerprinted,
with need and desire

astral traveling
from the nib of my pen,
I sate my thirst

but,
as time lessens,
and daylight fades
in the history
that is me

‘I have’
what whispers in thralls

a will that ever dreams
 

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda

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Comments

Nordic cloud

" longed for more time
to lay cornerstones,
but life had started
detaching my soles"

I liked this bit best Jayne,
specially the last two lines,
the poem seemed to change feeling,
and turn onto something else,
I would want to start again with these words,
and embroider their idea more fully.

But I wouldn't want to take your dreaming away from you,
as you seem to love to roam here.

Love Ann.

Seren

it gives me some relief but it also challenges the mind, I agree with you this one changed tone I will have another look at it with a fresh mind maybe I can make something more from it ?

I love crafting poetry now I am working hard on improving and there is much to improve

love JC xxx hugs

F

Difficult to know what you can title it?
Time traveller?
World explorer?
Dreamer?
Dream world?

Lovely images Ff

Seren

Thanks for the suggestions on the title I will give them some thought tomorrow after I have a night at home in my own bed and a good nights sleep ...

thanks for the lovely comment

Jayne-Chloe xxx

Seren

I appreciate the read and comment this one had been started and never got finished it was in the too hard pile then the other day the rest just came to me its still very much a work in progress

love to you both Jayne-Chloe xxx

Ian.T

Ian.T

12 years 3 months ago

The emotion and feeling reel away with your words, I guess we must stop and decide what we really need to do.
Can we make such a wish list and ask the Gods to help, I am as I keep saying oldish, my wish list has become so short.
Then again I ask myself is there a point to making one as you grow older, I think not, I think to take each day as the sun rises enjoy the vision of its splendour and each moment after just give out love to those around you and be yourself, Yours Ian.T..
PS:- A lovely meaningful write..

Seren

I enjoy the beauty of each moment we all only get so many and they are not to be wasted on dreams and wishes but then without dreams and wishes what would I be ? I have known sorrow but then that makes up the whole of what is me ...

and I am still discovering things about myself and I think I will be till the day I die but then for a growing apprentice poet its good fodder for poetry

love always Jayne-Chloe xxx

loved

lead others into kindly light
to depths
so that they need to fathom more
to dwell in the insight that you alone can ensure

so keep under control of what poetry you call urs...
title it
then I will read it surely
till then hardly
I'm in any position to comment..

BettyBuff

Day-dreaming windmills in Manchua...Being a renaissance woman, is it unsurprising you'd want to see the great art of Michelangelo? Kindred spirit J-C...I love your opening stanza, maybe the ending could of looped back to the grounding cornerstones?

Ells xx

Seren

I yearn to see the greats for myself books and films and the computer can only show you so much, one day its a dream of mine to go overseas and meet my relations in france and england I am of french mongolian and english heritage and I also would love to travel to Italy ... hmmmm I only finished this one the other day after having it sit for quite some time maybe I can loop around and connect the beginning with the end

love Jayne-Chloe xxx