sueb
sueb
Jan 11, 2013

Inevitable

An affair is brewing

Breaking up complicated
too much to arrange
solicitors, family, pain

I just need something
our sitting room (internet cáfe)
is stifling, smothering
communication, zilch
vacant stares
minds elsewhere

Don't know what to do
but attention I need
before, incomprehensible
now, understandable

An affair is brewing

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Ireland, IRL

More from this author

Comments

Dr Rotimi

a great piece. the word usage is great and it reads with emotions of great pain for the things that will be lost. it pains to love and lost! beautiful poem!

Bonitaj

good insightful piece about modern man's alienation "our sitting room" (internet cafe) - "is stifling, smothering communication". How true too, "the vacant stares" and "minds elsewhere".
I think it would carry more impact here and there, if you used punctuation more effectively viz.
"Don't know what to do,
but attention I need.
Before, 'incomprehensible'
Now, 'understandable'..."
See how that works for you!
Regards

Seren

Seren

12 years 3 months ago

I hope this is just a poem, its a sad tale of a marriage breaking up or on the verge of serious problems, I thought this one bared a little of your soul, its how we get to know each other round here, bit by bit our stories come out in our poetry to some degree

nice work hun

love JC xxx

F

Please please do not expect anything in human relationships especially marriage
An affair is brewing,
Lawyers Re suing
I don't care a damn
He's with a man
The man is a tart
Not after his heart
He'll come back to me
Just wait and see
And will I forgive him
No I'll just sing
Bye bye sh.t
As I dig his pit!

Seren

We all have bad days just look to the next, My partner and I have bad days like everyone but we get through, them we have been together for nearly 12 years this year not bad for a couple that werent ever meant to go out we are chalk and cheese but it works for us ...

hugs JC xxx