(1)
The more it's broken the stronger it is
it oft occurs during a whizz
now that this is at an end
what oft gets broken is the wind
(2)
The smell of corruption's everywhere
it permeates the very air
an aroma of something rotten
or a bag of old groceries forgotten
what is it smells so much like death ?
sad to say that it's your breath
(3)
A potted flower just now wilted
shriveled up and sideways tilted
the cat has choked, begun to bawl
seeking fresh air down the hall
the dog tries to climb up the flue
please don't remove your other shoe
(4)
People frown when you walk by
grimace, roll eyes to the sky
some even choose to cross the street
( I guess they've voted with their feet)
what would belay such scorn and wrath ?
I guess you could just take a bath
(5)
My eyes water then turn red
sinuses burn in my head
in this small and enclosed room
think you used enough perfume ?
Dec 20, 2010
STINKIN" BITS AND PIECES
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
bits
I make enough mistakes by accident without doing so on purpose ! ................stan
Hello Stan
Ha ha good bit of comedy - imagin if someone has all five of them?
Brilliant as always - when you going to publish a book?
Love Mand xxxxxxxx
pieces
If they had all three it would be autobiographical lol. I have to have enough good stuff to send to one before attempting publishing...........stan
I known them all
In basic training we had a man who would not take a bath. We dad unofficails to give him one. Hard brushes does a number on skin. He also had to smoke a whole pack of cigarettes in formation all at the same time. LOL he only had two bads habits I knew of. Oh! someone short sheeted his bed one night and put shaving cream in it. He came in late and crawled in and went to sleep. Takes all kinds. Thanks for the laugh. Take Care and MERRY CHRISTMAS. huey
stinkin
back in jr. high school i had a guy in class who smelled bad enough to lead to the teacher giving a lecture on hygene. As a result the guy still didn't bathe but came to school the next day with about a full can of deodorant on lol...........scribbler
O, my!
O, my!
bits
left you breathless? lol..................scribbler
Yeah, I have known...
all three types. I think I almost would rather deal with the natural stench though, than the reek of my step-son's cologne. He uses it to an extreme! He is very clean, but seems to think that the more, the better when it comes to artificial scents. Makes no sense to me! Your pattern, rhythm, and flow made this a really humerous well thought out poem. ~ Gee